


When We Grow Old

by wlfstr_lb



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29674539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlfstr_lb/pseuds/wlfstr_lb
Summary: Fic about Wolfstar's daughter. This is based after the Marauders' time at Hogwarts. It might be in many POVs, starting with Remus'. It will alternate and mostly be the child's POV once she starts Hogwarts. It's not very canon compliant because James and Lily survive but yeah,,
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 3





	1. 1979: Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All the Young Dudes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010) by [MsKingBean89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsKingBean89/pseuds/MsKingBean89). 



> \- oc character  
> \- not very canon  
> \- hopefully the chapters become more lengthy as the story develops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Remus POV  
> \- Starts off with talks of Sirius' and Remus' relationship  
> \- Goes into Remus' favourite memories  
> \- End of the chapter is building up to Remus trying to propse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a mess, I must confess. If anyone's reading this, you're not meant to be, but it's published so it's okay if you do, I guess

15th May 1979

Remus and Sirius had been dating for a few years now, although a huge part of their relationship was kept hidden, as they didn't particularly want others to know, and felt entitled to that kind of privacy. When Remus came out in the summer before seventh year, Sirius had got to thinking, and realised that their hook-ups must've meant something to the both of them, and didn't think that Remus deserved to be in the dark about how Sirius truly felt. Sirius was curious about how long Remus had had feelings for him and how long it was until he started reciprocating them. 

He was so kind, so gentle, and so reserved, for someone who had been bitten before his fifth birthday by a werewolf and had to turn into one every month, by full moon. He shunted himself to the side as his negative thoughts grew and grew, until the day he was accepted into Hogwarts. He deserved that, he deserved to know how he was still valid as a wizard, and precautions were taken to ensure he didn't harm anyone as he transformed. Remus had never been completely sure of where he would be kept every month, until his third year, and his first visit to the Shrieking Shack told him all he needed to know. They constantly pondered over their favourite memories in Sirius' pensieve:

His friends saw him for what they were, and still, they helped him unpack his luggage that Remus had thrown into his suitcase as soon as he found out that his three friends knew he was a monster. They refused to let Remus label himself as that and took to hitting him every time he dared mention his lycanthropy negatively. "You'll be able to help Dumbledore with the werewolves! You being a werewolf doesn't change a thing, you're still the same sock folding freak we fell in love with!" James clambered over Remus' bed and fell over in an attempt to calm his 12 year old hyperventilating friend. Remus needed to know he was loved and that the other boys weren't frightened of him. "But I turn into a mad wolf every month!" he said tearfully, sitting in a hunched back position, cradling his legs and his head was crouching over them. The other boys shook their heads. "That's not who you are, we've known you for a year and a half and the only thing that's wrong with you is that you can't read Remus, and who the fuck cares about that?" Sirius whispered ferociously, clapping his hand to his mouth once he realised what he had said.  
"You can't read?" Peter asked at once, and James glared at him.  
"No, I can't. Thanks for selling me out Sirius," Remus declared, almost angrily, and saw that his friend was truly in shock that he let it slip.  
"I'm sure there's something to help you read," James said in an almost questioning voice, "let's go ask Madam Pomfrey or something."  
"Sorry Remu." Sirius grinned wickedly as he saw Remus' mad expression melt off his face. He whacked Sirius for calling him that, but he felt a tingling sensation in his stomach as he realised that he really didn't mind Sirius calling him names. 

A few years passed, and the boys ran into the library, where they usually found Remus studying and hollered at the top of their voices, "REMUSSS WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOUUUU" and almost immediately got themselves kicked out, as Madam Pince yelled at them for disrupting the peaceful library and insisted that Remus wasn't in the room, and they walked away, heads drooping to their shoulders as they went searching for him. When they found him huddled by the fire with Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald and Dorcas Meadowes. All of them were either gossiping or reading. Remus was doing a mix of both. Anyone would think he was a bit of a lady's man, and they'd be right, as Remus tried to force himself to have crushes on girls but found himself pining over one Sirius Black. He could never let him know though. "Alright Evans?" James grinned nonchalantly, relaxing his hands in his pockets and leaving his glasses to go askew, trying to look as relaxed as he could. "I was alright, but now that you're here..." she drifted off and turned to the side so that no one could see her smiling, but Mary saw it and nudged her, making kissing noises. Lily glared at her but didn't seem too mad about it. The boys remained oblivious to this and took Remus by the hand. "Sorry ladies, Remus is needed elsewhere," Marlene tried to grab him back and told the boys that Remus belonged to them. She stuck out her tongue as Sirius pulled Remus towards him and stuck up his middle finger. 

"Who did you guys kill?" Remus jokingly shouted across the common room, and everyone turned to look at him curiously. He held his hands up and maintained a straight face until they were safely in their dormitory. "You weren't supposed to find out about that until later!" Peter reciprocated his energy and the boys chuckled. Remus shut the door behind them and walked to the other end of the room, his back turned to the boys and when he turned back around, he almost shit himself. He saw a grizzly, black dog who playfully moved towards Remus, and then he saw a massive deer gallop around the room, knocking everything over as he went. Remus shuddered and felt something move up his back, and saw that a rat had settled on his shoulder and almost made to nap, before the dog barked. "Holy motherfu-" the stag transferred into James Fleamont Potter, and the dog into Sirius Orion Black. Peter was quite obviously the rat. Remus took Peter off his shoulder and set him on the floor. "Holy fucking shit," Remus breathed as Peter Pettigrew replaced the rat. Remus was crying, he felt jubilous. "Animagi? Really?". The words he uttered made the rest of them laugh. "Yeah it was Pete's idea, now we can assist you in the Shrieking Shack every month and make sure you don't hurt yourself!" Sirius yelped triumphantly. "But that'll mean I'll hurt you!" Remus frowned, but the smirks hadn't been wiped off his friends' faces. "Not if we can help it. We're animagi, we have animal form, but more or less human minds still, James can control you as he's the biggest, Peter can tame the Whomping Willow and let us pass, and I can astonish you with my beauty," Sirius continued, his arrogance becoming more prominent as he announced every word. And by god, Remus thought, you astonish me every day.

In their seventh year, so much had happened, they were the marauders, and they had their own nickname. The love that one felt for the others was bursting and always growing. They had gotten drunk with each other and had all staggered through the passage from Honeydukes to the one eyed witch statue in Hogwarts and found their way to their common room miraculously and passed out so many times. Remus was elected to run the commentary for the final Hogwarts Quidditch Match and the memory still brought tears to their eyes.

They were at Lily and James' wedding. Sirius had best man duties, so Remus and Peter skulked around, acquainting themselves with the Order members they had become so close to after they left Hogwarts. Molly and Arthur Weasley were looking after their three children, telling Remus about how they so longed for a girl, but they were still overjoyed by their three boys. He stuck close with Peter, because Mary, Marlene and Dorcas were the bridesmaids and couldn't hang around to chat very much. "Remus, get in here," James' worried tone had Remus hurrying upstairs into James' room. James was smiling nervously and was trembling. He struggled with his tie for a minute before Remus kindly did it for him and stood with him as they gazed into the mirror. James' handsome face was distraught with nerves, and Remus' scarred face broke out into a smile. He embraced his best friend, "I forgive you for not making me best man I guess," he whispered as they hugged for a few minutes. "Sirius is-" James started but broke off because Remus held up his hand in silence. "He's your brother, I know, and that's why I'm not mad." They smiled. "Where's Sirius?" Remus asked, looking around James' bedroom, appreciating the Quidditch decorations and the many broomsticks that hung on his walls. There were moving posters on his bedside table, of the four of them and of Lily. "He's with Lily, the girls are doing their makeup," James was distracted with trying to comb down his messy hair that refused to be tamed. "Is HE wearing makeup?" Remus scoffed, envisioning how beautiful Sirius would look with eyeliner and stared at the mirror, almost becoming entranced. James clapped him on the shoulder and grinned, "yes, you lovesick boy, I can't wait to see your facial expressions when you see him."

"I think, it's time to wake up Remu," Sirius appeared beside him in the Pensieve and had appeared to be watching over Remus' favourite memories with him, he grabbed his arm and they rose upwards and out of the memory bank. "What day is it?" Remus gasped and fell to the ground as he recovered from his childhood memories. James picked him back up, with a kind smile on his face and a mad glint in his eyes. "It's 15th June, 1980," James had an insinuating tone in his voice and Remus remembered at once what he was trying to say and felt for the pocket inside his blazer and was relieved to know that the square box he had been holding onto for a few months was still there. He excused himself to the bathroom, glancing at Lily who was busying herself with Order members and discussing what measures they would need to take in order to win the war. Remus locked the door and started breathing heavily, staring himself down in the mirror and saw tears starting to well up in his eyes. Shaking, he reached for the box in his pocket and stared at the simple ring that lay in it. It was all he could afford. James had offered to help pay, and this was all he wanted. It was so simple for the boy who had the most complicated life and he knew it was perfect.

He buried himself in his hands as he dropped the box and the tears came. What if he said no? What if he didn't want a wedding? What if he realised how much of a monster Remus truly was? And what if he didn't want a future with him? He couldn't stop his laboured breathing and the room was spinning. He heard knocks on the door and choked as he gathered the box and stuffed it back into his clothing and then heard even more knocks on the door and the voices that yelled through the wood became distant as he tried standing up and fell earthwards, causing a huge noise. The door was broken down as Sirius charged into the room and saw his boyfriend in a fit on the floor. James tried to prop Remus up into a sitting position but his body refused to co-operate with James' strength and he was yelling. Sirius managed it, and stared into Remus' brown eyes and placed Remus' hand on his chest and started breathing deeply with him. Remus followed suite and slowly he recovered, clambering to get off the floor and noticed that his head was bleeding. His eyes widened as he felt the blood drop. Peter, who had come to see what the racket was about, hurried off to find Marlene to help.

A few hours later, it was about 5:15pm, and James was helping Remus prepare a picnic for Sirius. James stopped midway through cooking and stared at Remus. "Come off it mate, you don't expect me to believe that NOTHING was wrong? You were dying Remus." "I was having a panic attack because what if this all goes wrong? What if he doesn't want this?" Remus dropped his knife exasperatedly and tried to maintain a calm composure. James looked as though he was about to go into a fit of laughter. "What?" he demanded. "Sirius is mental about you, like really really mental. He has been for a few years, he's not shut up about you once. I catch him looking at you when you're reading or speaking. He finds every aspect of you captivating and if he doesn't want to do this, then I'll have to give him a massive whack." Remus cackled and swore, "James fucking Fleamont Potter" to which James seized the soap near the sink and yelled, "I'LL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT IF YOU SWEAR AGAIN." "Oh give me a break Mother Potter," he tittered, hastily finishing his picnic basket. "PADS WHERE ARE YOU?!" Sirius came running in almost immediately hollered "WHAT IS IT REMUS THADDICUS LUPIN??" and holding out his arms like a gentleman, "Oh I see you have prepared a picnic? Take my arm good sir, I shall lead us to this nice picnic spot!" his tone was with mock politeness which always cracked Remus up.

They walked past Lily and James, who were the only ones who remained in the house since the panic attack, and both of them looked at Remus and wished him good luck. "Good luck with what?" Sirius demanded. "I need luck with dealing with your annoying arse for a few hours, but they need a date night," Remus kissed his nose and saw a fake scowl take over his boyfriend's face, "I'm joking Serious Onion Black," and covered his mouth as he made to splutter, and caused the Potters to laugh so loudly that they could still hear them at the other side of the front door. 

"So what was your panic attack about Remu?" Sirius was laying on the blanket and biting an apple, trying to seem nonchalant but it was obvious that he had been wanting to ask for hours. "Well, I'll let you know soon, I need to do a few things first." Remus was screaming internally and he never felt so pressured to perfect this proposal, and was hoping that the love of his life would say yes to putting up with him for eternity.


	2. 1979: Loverboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Remus' POV  
> \- Talking about love and marriage  
> \- Thinking more about war

15th May 1979 

"What is it?" Sirius whined on for five minutes, wanting to know what the fuss had been about earlier, but Remus sighed and shook his head, which shut him up almost immediately. Remus wasn't ready yet. He will be. In a matter of speaking, he had been ready for a while, but putting his feelings into words had always taken him a lot longer than the others. The first time Sirius confessed his love, Remus found himself running off and stating he loved him a few days after that. Sirius just laughed, he knew that expressing emotions was difficult, and he gave him all the time he needed.

Remus was shaking again, but he wasn't going to have another breakdown. He took out his record player and played "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" which Sirius knew was his happy and hopeless romantic song. They lay down together, cuddling and staring at the sky, which was clouded and grey. 

Suddenly, Sirius jumped up, and pulled Remus to his feet and started dancing around with him as they played the song on repeat.

_"What are you doing tonight, hey boy!"_

Sirius was shouting this lyric at the top of his lungs to the empty field but Remus knew he was really asking him. "Hopefully having drinks with the others as we celebrate our engagement" Remus muttered under his breath quite quickly so that his boyfriend would not be able to hear him. "What was that?" Sirius rushed towards him, eyeing him with suspicion.

"Nothing dear," he smirked, sticking his tongue out. Sirius transformed into Padfoot (his Marauder nickname for his dog form) and ran laps around the field until Remus had mustered all his courage after downing a shot (or five) of firewhisky. "Oi SIRI I HAVE SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE TO SAY" and Padfoot eagerly bounded towards him and transformed back into Sirius. The song was still playing on a loop in the background and Remus took Sirius' hands. Oh shit, he thought, here we go.

"I've always found it difficult to be myself around other people, but you made that so much easier. You light up my world and any room you walk into. Your charming smile, that Sirius Black smile, is my favourite sight to see. Your jealously, your arrogance and your pride would've been a deal breaker for anyone-" Remus grinned cheekily, though he was trembling still, and Sirius steadied his hands and smiled back at him, opening his mouth to talk, but Remus shut him up with a kiss. "No, baby, let me finish."  
"You usually finish," Sirius muttered, before repressing a fit of silent giggles. "I have always admired your personality, your wit and your intelligence. Your consistency for pranks frightens me but makes me the proudest boyfriend in the world. Admittedly, I don't like to imagine myself growing old with anyone but you. And hopefully I won't have to," Remus pulled out the ring box and got down on one knee, almost crying. Sirius put his right hand to his mouth and used his left to steady himself against the record player. "We're young, I know, but hopefully you feel how I feel about you." He opened the ring box and half whispered, "Sirius Orion Black, will you marry me?" 

Sirius was standing in shock for about ten seconds before he jumped up in the air and said, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!", kissing him each time he proclaimed the word. Remus gallantly chuckled and threw the ring onto Sirius' finger and they kissed for as long as was humanely possible and only fell apart to pack everything up and run home, whooping as they went.

"JAMIE BOY AND LILY FLOWER HE SAID YES!!!!!" Remus yelled gleefully and he couldn't contain his excitement and was full of energy.  
"Let's put that energy to use," Sirius smirked and took Remus by the hand, flexing his ring to the Potters as they skipped up the stairs. Remus made out with Sirius all the way to their bedroom and threw him onto the bed, kissing every inch of his body that he could, ripping Sirius' shirt and trousers off. 

After a while, they emerged out of their room and headed straight for a shower and went downstairs to find James and Lily setting the table and talking amongst the two of them, evidently hiding something, but Remus didn't care, nothing mattered but the fact that Sirius was here to stay.

"You still didn't say why you had that massive panic attack," Sirius' head shot upwards as he realised they hadn't discussed it. He sat down on the table and Remus started explaining how he was so unsure about whether or not Sirius would say yes. "I would've said yes if you proposed right in the middle of that attack, I assure you love, I'm here to stay." He kissed Remus' nose and held his hand under the dinner table. Lily poured the champagne and they all toasted to the engagement.

A few drinks later had James commanding the others to invite Marlene, Mary, Peter and Dorcas.

"Where's Pete?" James slurred, "Where's Petey boy?" he started giggling and went over to the fireplace, summoning Peter with floo powder. Soon enough, the whole Order was there. James had gotten carried away and was drunkenly inviting anyone who came to mind. "Oh WHERE'S MINNIE?" he yelled suddenly, frightening anyone who was trying to congratulate Sirius and Remus. Soon enough, Minerva McGonagall had appeared out of the flames, tears of joy welling in her eyes and she kissed the boys and congratulated them.  
"Well, seeing as I've given you many detentions for your inappropriate activities, it's only fit you should invite me to this wedding," she said in a joking manner as she settled herself down with a firewhisky.  
"Minnie, I'd be delighted if you gave me away," Sirius said, with no hint of sarcasm in his voice. Minerva looked at him in shock, "Potter, really?" and he nodded, his eyes full of promise.  
"Since mine and James' parents are in hospital, I've been remembering how kind you were to all of us even though we were all cheeky bastards who didn't deserve your love. And you know, I love you too!" Sirius suddenly found his champagne glass quite interesting and anyone nearby could notice that he was reddening like mad by the second. Minnie welled with pride and cried into Sirius' shoulder after seizing his shirt and pulling him into a tight embrace. Both of them were crying and this lasted about 5 minutes.

Remus walked away and found James and Lily making out in the closet and left them to it, both of them ruby in the face and evidently drunk. They didn't seem to notice Remus' presence so he left to talk to Molly Weasley.

"Oh Remus, you two are perfect for each other," she said, hiccuping slightly and trying not to let her eyes droop, "marriage can be tricky sometimes but you two were made to see each other through the best and worst days of your lives." He felt touched by these words and found himself pondering as he drank silently. This was interrupted when Andromeda made her arrival and Sirius ran towards her and picked her off the floor, "GUYS, ANDY'S HERE!!" he yelled and she kissed his cheek. "Let me down Siri, I heard the news! Your mum's gonna go livid!!" she cackled and turned to face Remus, inspecting every inch of his face, reading his mind and picking it apart, "this loverboy's going to treat you well so I don't think I need to threaten him," she announced, sitting down on the floor and summoning a beer.

"Where's Nymphadora?" Sirius looked around, yearning to see his niece, "and Ted?"

"Both are at home, I'll bring them back around in the next week or so." And that was that.

"I have a feeling these lot are going to discuss the war with the wedding and whatnot, we need to re-meet here, but only invite a select few, just to keep things safe," Remus pulled Sirius to the side and muttered this in his ear. He nodded and spoke in barely a whisper.  
"I'm thinking the Tonks', the Weasley parents, marauders and the girls." Remus felt compliant with this but felt that two more people should be present, "and Dumbledore and Minnie. Dumbledore's presence is necessary, you know? And Minnie deserves to be here." 

Peter was rarely seen that night, his tongue was stuck down this girl's throat. She was quite the sight. She had auburn coloured hair and fair skin, her eyes were as grey as the clouds that shadowed the moon. "Good on you Pete," Remus roared. Peter put his thumbs up towards Remus and continued his making out session 

After that, all of them drank until the sun came up and passed out until the sun set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The song in this chapter is "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queens  
> \- This chapter is quite short because I want to switch into James' POV next chapter.


	3. 1979: War Heightens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- They discuss ways to protect Lily, James, Sirius and Remus  
> \- Regulus cleans out Grimmauld Place, the others help him soon before he finishes  
> \- Wedding Planning  
> \- Lily and James discuss having children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Mentions of alcoholism  
> \- James' POV!  
> \- Peter mentions a swift betrayal.  
> \- Definitely not canon compliant

18th May 1979

James wanted a child. He really did. But he couldn't bare bringing a child up in a war, especially when the child could be at risk of dying, or having no parents. He usually kept his baby fever to himself but he could hardly keep this a secret from Lily, when he was so in love with her.

"Lils?" he asked timidly, whilst they were cleaning out their house after the party. She looked at him questioningly and said nothing, but fixated a stare onto James as if she already knew what he was going to say. "I want a child." Sirius and Remus entered the room, holding hands and going quiet after James had finally said something about his yearn for children. Lily sat down on the floor and leaned her back against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. "I want one too!" she said, "but I don't know, what with the war..." 

"I have a surprise for all of you!" Sirius sat besides Lily and let her lean her head on his shoulder, "Regulus is cleaning out my childhood home, we can go round soon and help him, but he's going to make it fit for Headquarters, or a good place for hiding. Or both," he considered this for a minute and looked at James, whose thoughts were in disarray. What if he could go there and they could raise a child in secret? Keep it safe? Keep themselves safe? 

Remus put his hand up, as if silencing a load of his own thoughts, and everyone else's. "We should discuss this with everyone else. I think it's a good idea, but we need Dumbledore to agree with this, you know what that bastard's like." Lily jumped up and inspected the house, "it looks great!"

The house in question was a mess, but it was their mess. It was the Potter cottage, in Godric's Hollow. If you were to walk into the house, the first thing you would see is the entry on the left, a long 'pathway' that would lead you to the kitchen, the dining room or to the living room. The kitchen was small, it had a long counter running alongside one of the walls, where the microwave and kettle was stationed. The fridge was in the corner furthest from the room, and there were cupboards full of chocolate, fruit, and food. James couldn't quite put his finger on what kind of food there was, as Lily had banned him from entering the kitchen, on the grounds that he almost burned their house down the last time he tried cooking. He knew that there must have been a lot of chocolate as Remus was living with them at the time. And Remus without chocolate just didn't make sense. The living room had a sofa and a stack of games and books scattered around the room. There wasn't much to say about the room except it was a creamy white colour and brought peace to anyone by entering it. The dining room had a long table running through it, with moving photos hung on the walls. Lily usually took the liberty of putting flowers around the room, which was one of the many things that attracted James to Lily. She had a love for flowers that was as big as Remus' love for chocolate. It seemed like a little thing to anyone else, but to James it made him happy to see that in the middle of everything going on, she still wanted to be surrounded by flowers. It was a symbol of her own inner peace. At the opposite side of the door leading into the living room, there was another door, which led to the downstairs bathroom.

If you were to go up the stairs, it would lead you to four rooms. One was another bathroom, one was Lily and James' bedroom, one was Sirius and Remus'. The last one was the guest room, to anyone who felt like crashing at the cottage. It was usually Peter there, but he was being seen less and less these days.

"Where's Peter?" James started looking around as if he would just appear out of thin air. "I don't like not knowing where he is, you know? What if something's happened to him?" James felt the panic rise in his voice and tried not to let it overwhelm him, so he sat down next to Lily.  
"I want a child, but you realise what that means?" she whispered so only he could hear her. "What?" he asked, matching her volume. "We'd have to go into hiding."  
"When's Dumbledore and the others coming?" Remus asked, looking at the watch that didn't tell him the time, but helped him whenever he shouted the name of someone he really loved. It would guide him in their direction. "I don't know but Andy said she'll swing by at around 12pm," Sirius said, yawning and looking at the clock, "and it's 1pm so she should be here within half an hour!" Sirius cracked a grin and everyone else did too, because it was important to keep spirits up in a war.

Within the next hour, everyone came through the fireplace. First came Minerva, the Tonks', Marlene, Peter, Mary, Dorcas, Molly and Arthur then finally Dumbledore.

"So! What's this about then!" Arthur clapped his hands loudly, scaring anyone in the vicinity. James looked up to Sirius and saw that he was taking deep breaths and hoped that he was alright. James had never been scared by much in his life, only the war. His parents were exceptionally affectionate and no one else seemed to bother him. If they had, then he would simply jinx them. "Shall I summon butterbeer?" Remus said after they had been sitting in silence for a few minutes, "Accio butterbeer!" he waved his wand as they all settled down in the dining room, being careful not to break the vases of flowers around the room, but whispering "Reparo!" if they did, so that Lily would not stress out.

"So," Dumbledore said quietly, facing his bottle of butterbeer as if he was engaging a conversation with it instead of the others, "Remus and Sirius are getting married, took them long enough to realise they were meant to be, I owe Minnie 5 galleons, and we need to discuss what should happen when you get married."  
"Well, I'm thinking, 12 Grimmauld Place could be used. It's my mother's house, and has been left to Reggie, but he doesn't mind the Order using it. He, actually, wants to join, Professor," Sirius said all of this in one breath, facing Remus whilst holding his hand, but turned to face Dumbledore once he addressed him, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as Dumbledore sat at the head of the table. The Weasleys were quiet for a few minutes, the Tonks' were occupied by Nymphadora's happy mood. Andromeda was trying to quieten her down, as this was a serious conversation, but all the child wanted to do was to sit in Sirius' lap. Sirius said gently, "Nymphy, love, uncle Sirius is busy at the moment, talking about his wedding!" he whispered across the table to her, trying hard to stifle his smile but it didn't work. 

Sirius and Remus deserved each other. They both deserved someone who was there for them at all costs, through anything that they went through. Remus usually came to James' room when Sirius was in a deep sleep, torn apart because he didn't think he deserved someone as whole as Sirius. But James had to remind him that they both had broken childhoods and found comfort in each other, and felt _safe_ which was what mattered. They loved each other and was always there for each other. They could fake argue sometimes but it wouldn't mean they loved each other any less.

Lily found a safe place to land with James. She didn't realise it for years, as she was best friends with the one person who put her down the most. When their friendship had ended, Lily kept with her girl friends for a while and didn't want anything to do with boys for about a year. James was there for her in the littlest and most subtle ways ever. He didn't try and make another move when her friendship with Snape ended, because he was dear to her. It was only when Lily had entered a phase of hating Severus that he felt common ground with her. She's been in that phase ever since.

"Wow! You're getting married!!" Nymphadora exclaimed, her babyish tone warming the hearts of everyone at the table. Sirius nodded and stood up from the table, he walked over to his niece and picked her up, and sat back down in his seat, putting her in his lap and introducing her to Remus, for the millionth time. "Uncle Remu!" she said excitedly. Minerva cleared her throat.  
"Yes, yes, the child is sweet, but what do we do? When the wedding happens? When James and Lily realise they want to have children? When you two realise you want to have children?" she said hurriedly, glancing over her shoulder as though expecting a load of Death Eaters to apparate behind where she sat and attack them all.

"We want children, but with the war..." James usually drifted off when talking about those two different thoughts in the same topic. It pained him. The war pained him. He just wanted a baby.  
"You could go into hiding. And, please," Ted announced himself by interrupting James' train of thought, "it would be wise to go into hiding now." Marlene suddenly gasped and started sniffling. Peter's face was ashen, and he hadn't said two words to the boys since his arrival. Mary and Lily were looking at each other shiftily, their facial expressions suggesting they were having an internal conversation. 

"Marls," Remus said in a kind and soothing tone, "we are going to have to go into hiding eventually." Marlene said nothing for the remainder of the meeting.  
"We have my old house," Sirius repeated, "we could all go over there. Put the fidelius charm on it and make me the Secret Keeper." Dumbledore considered this idea, and nodded slowly, adding "that would be a good idea. You four," he looked towards Remus, Sirius, Lily and James, "would have to be there alone, perhaps along with Regulus. He's supposed to be at school, is he not?" Sirius sheepishly said that he left just to clean up, "okay, we could go over later, and make me the Secret Keeper. Voldemort would know better than try and force the new Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix out of me." Lily choked on her butterbeer and was immediately slapped on the back by Mary.  
"Headquarters?" Lily said as Sirius yelled, "why are you the secret keeper?!"  
"Because, Sirius, I am the founder of the organisation. And, I have no doubt that you'd rather die than give away your hiding place, but I feel it would be wiser for me to be the keeper." Sirius started bouncing his leg and clutching the six year old in his lap so that she wouldn't fall off. He said nothing else.

"When would we be moving?" James said at last. Remus stood up and went to the kitchen and came back a few minutes later, holding a mound of chocolate bars and feasting on them. Everyone in the vicinity pretended not to take notice of Remus' stress eating.  
"We should pack now, and get ready to leave tomorrow morning. Early. I don't wanna risk waiting to get pregnant to go into hiding. Whatever happens, we are to stay in the house. We would need to disable the Floo Network but if we can't leave we need someone to bring food supplies and toiletries and oh god, what do we do?" Lily was stressed and drinking her butterbeer so quickly, James was worried she would start choking again.

"I agree with Lily," Arthur Weasley spoke up. He had remained quiet for the majority of the meeting but felt that he needed to weigh his opinion in case it was required,"it would make a lot of sense, and I think the House of Black has a house elf already?"  
"Kreacher, that bastard. He loves his master Regulus." Sirius muttered angrily and his bouncing leg was starting to frighten Nymphadora, so she got off his lap and went over to Lily, who smiled warmly and gave her a hug.  
"Kreacher could get all of that for us?" James said hopefully, not wanting to be exposed to anything that could harm his friends. Dumbledore shook his head and said that he would come around every so often with supplies. Kreacher could help, but it was unwise for him to be ordered out of the house. James stared at Peter, who noticed his eye contact and was reluctant to return it, but he did eventually.

After a while, everyone began to take off, the girls kissed each others cheeks, but the boys shook each others hands. Peter stayed behind, at James' request. Dumbledore said that he, Minerva and Mad-Eye Moody would be arriving at 4am sharp to come and collect them, and hope they wouldn't be spotted.

"Pete? You've been distant lately," Lily's eyes were overcome with sadness and pain. It was hard to get through to Peter these days, but if anyone could, it would be Lily.  
"Yeah.. I've-" Peter began, but shook his head vigorously and sealed his mouth shut.  
"Peter, what is it?" Sirius said sharply, gesturing them into the living room so that he could collapse onto the sofa and bury himself in cushions.  
"Well I've-" "Peter, please," Remus sounded and looked as exhausted as James felt. "Well-I've-been-passing-information-to-You-Know-Who-because-he-would-kill-me-if-I-didn't!" Peter said in one breath and made for the front door but James caught a hold of his shirt and restrained him, a mix of emotions taking over at once as he felt so betrayed and wanted to scream. "SO YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO GO AND TELL YOUR LORD ABOUT OUR HIDING PLACE RIGHT NOW?!" Sirius roared, getting up and making a striking gesture with his hand, and would've slapped the shit out of him if Remus didn't stand in between the two. "I can't believe you Peter," Lily looked horrified and looked as though she had half a mind to punch him too. "You're staying here until we move, and then you're pissing off. Dumbledore will be the Secret-Keeper and you won't be able to rat us out. Now I know why your animagus is a rat. You'd sell us all out to save your stinking skin!" Sirius was raging and you could see in his face that he was contemplating murder. But he would never do it. Peter tried to break free of James' grasp, but James threw him to the other side of the room, the furthest from the door, and withdrew his wand. Everyone else had the same idea and they all roared "STUPEFY!" at the same time. There was a massive THUD and Peter fell to the ground, knocked out cold. "Levicorpus!" Sirius made a wand gesture that caused Peter to levitate by his ankle. Sirius wore a look of absolute disgust and continued to levitate him up the stairs, going into the guest room. James followed him into the room and watched him as he bound Peter to the bed and locked the door.

"Jamesie boy is there anyone we can trust?" he spoke quietly and his expression softened. James yearned to hug him, to let his brother know that it will be okay. And that's exactly what Sirius was thinking, so they embraced for a few minutes, in a brotherly fashion. They had been brothers ever since they met on the Hogwarts Express in the first year and there was no doubt in James' mind that they wouldn't die for each other.

Remus took to drinking as much firewhisky as he could stomach, his breath reeked of alcohol and he suggested becoming full time drunk, so that he could feel no more pain than he already did.

Lily stared at the walls and said nothing for the longest time.

They were hardly masking how betrayed they felt by those seventeen words Peter uttered. Sirius and James left them to stew in their self pity, whilst they performed several non verbal spells in attempt to pack away everything in their house that they would need. James took the liberty of packing away Lily's things and left Sirius to do the same for Remus.

The clock read 2am, and Sirius had had enough of Remus binge drinking and crying every time he had stopped disassociating, so he took his alcohol away from him and spilled it on the floor and muttered, "scourgify!" as he cleared away the mess. Remus did not have the upper hand in that situation so he repeatedly opened and closed his mouth, accepting defeat after Sirius glared at him. The moment called for a motivated speech and James felt obligated to give one, as it was evident no one else felt like it.

"Peter did betray us, he betrayed the Order and I'm sure Dumbledore will find a way to reprimand him," James said, and realised no one had taken onboard what he had just said, and they were probably not even listening. James stunned the clock on the top of the cupboard, which shattered and repaired as Remus suddenly yelled the repairing spell. With their combined efforts, Sirius and Lily looked alert and focused. "LOOK! Peter betrayed us, and we will give him hell, I'm sure. What matters is that we have each other. And I will never betray any of you idiots. I love you all so much." Sirius' shoulders slumped but his face looked hopeful. His face lit up slightly and he finally stood up and checked his watch. "It's about 2:15am, the others will be back in an hour and a bit. Remus, no alcoholism, not on my watch. I'm Sirius!" Remus cackled and then violently surged forward and retched.

"Has anyone eaten?" Lily stood up at last, her voice shaky and her green eyes full of disappointment, but nonetheless hurried towards the kitchen and busied herself with cooking. Remus called for some chocolate after he had finished being sick. "Mental that one," Sirius said to James. "They're both mental," James grinned and watched with amazement as Remus stood up and made out with Sirius for as long as Sirius could bear. They pulled apart and Sirius complained of his breath, but Remus took no notice.


	4. 1979: A Rush Of Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- James' POV  
> \- There's a load of stuff to process within the last few chapters  
> \- Time leaps  
> \- This really is my DR life, so I'm just writing it for that

30th June 1979

It had been over a month since they settled themselves in Grimmauld Place. Sirius thought he would've been fine with living back in his childhood home again but woke up frequently in the middle of the night and started hyperventilating, clutching to Remus for warmth and safety. Remus had put up with it for two weeks, not minding one bit, but started to worry and confided in James.

"I love him, I don't know how to help him though." James stirred in his words and barely had time to put in his word before Remus went rambling on about how he fancied a spliff. He was running low on his supplies, and only ever smoked when his anxiety was at an all time high. Lately, the house smelt of weed and hardly anything else. Lily had frequently complained but Sirius preferred the smell of weed to what his house used to smell like.

"It smelt like blood purity, can't explain it," Sirius murmured every time someone asked him about what it was like when he was little. He locked the door to the room that displayed the Black Family Tree and only opened it when he got his hands on permanent marker pens, something that Ted dropped off with Dumbledore to give to the others. It was a muggle version of a quill. But it was like, you couldn't clean it off. Sirius scribbled all over his family tree and burned everyone off it and created his own new tree. James' parents had been at the top of the tree, Sirius and James being their offspring. Hope and Lyall Lupin was there. Sirius drew Lily's tree too and combined all of them together, to show that they were each other's family, and that was that.

Peter wasn't mentioned in the house anymore. They all gathered things that reminded them of him and set it on fire, listening to Queen songs and becoming engrossed in arson. 

However, "Dumbledore told me they sent Peter to Azkaban on account of treachery and doing You-Know-Who's bidding. He was sentenced to life," Lily said as they sat down for dinner that evening. It was absolutely music to their ears and they all felt more euphoric than they had in the last few days. They had nothing to do all day, but took to looking through the house and getting rid of things that Regulus couldn't bring himself to, as he was only 18. There were boggarts, doxies and all kinds of creatures that they struggled to get rid of, but managed to in the end. Dumbledore, Mad-Eye and Minerva had made the house unplottable and placed the fidelius charm on it, so that no one could enter.

"Wait, isn't your mum still alive?" Remus blurted out randomly during the dinner. Sirius nodded but said, "she vacated this house and pissed off to the Malfoy Manor, she wanted to be closer to the blood purists. I don't care though. She couldn't find this house even if she wanted to." And with that, they finished their dinner in peace. 

Sirius and Remus had struggled with finding themselves in the middle of everything and needed to blow off steam.. "gay styles" they said. Well, they weren't wrong. Lily and James had spent a few nights talking about the prospect of a baby before they, too, had taken to consummating their love sexually. Usually James stayed quiet during their talks, letting Lily vent her worries out onto him and then calming her down by kissing her and helping her forget the world around them as they tried to make a child. A joy to the misery they were stuck in.

11 July 1979

Sirius and Remus had also been talking about having children after they decided on their wedding.  
"Nothing big. I don't want many guests. In fact, we just want you two, Remus' parents, Minnie and the Tonks'. Maybe Marlene, Dorcas and Mary too," Sirius said at the breakfast table, reaching for the wine, with the intention of a spot of day drinking, but James shook his head and seized the bottle from him. "We're talking about your wedding SOBER Sirius." He just shrugged.  
"We want Marlene to officiate, James to be the best man and Lily to be the maid of honour. Remus' parents will give him away, Minnie will give me away. Andy has to be at my wedding, and I want my niece to be there. Ted's an alright bloke, might as well invite him too. And for old times' sake, Mary and Dorcas too. Because I did snog Mary's face off at some point before accepting I was gay," Sirius smirked with finality, but James knew he didn't feel himself, and probably hadn't ever since they went into hiding.

"Alright, what about your kids then?" Lily sat there, shoving eggs into her mouth. They couldn't reproduce by themselves, they would need a surrogate. They were thinking the same thing.  
"We need a surrogate," Remus sniffled and his eyes went red, "don't worry guys, I'm not sad, just high."  
"Who do you want your surrogate to be?" James asked, raising his pumpkin juice glass to his lips, raising his eyebrows, asking the question he already knew the answer to.  
"Don't be mad!" Remus was watching him with uncertainty and began trembling as he picked up his knife and fork.  
"Who?" Lily was still oblivious to the fact that they wanted her, but then her eyes became very round and you could practically see her brain figuring out the answer and she gasped, "James won't be mad. I'm thinking, I'm not fucking anyone who's not James but if you want, when we get pregnant, we could go to St Mungo's or something and probably use one of your.. stuff and you know!" Everyone knew what she meant.

"I'm not mad, actually, as long as no one else has sex with my wife," he jerked his eyebrows to Sirius and Remus, looking serious but they all knew he was only half joking.  
"No, I'm not interested in your wife James, my libido is restricted to Remus only," Sirius was barking with laughter and grasped his chest with one hand and then the table with his other, in an attempt not to fall off. Remus smirked and put his hand on Sirius' thigh, who stopped laughing and started blushing ferociously.  
"Well I'm honoured you want me to be your surrogate!" Lily announced, clapping her hand in an attempt to cut the obvious sexual tension in the room. Sirius and Remus looked at her, dazed for a second and then remembered what they were talking about. "Oh yeah, you're welcome Lily."

"Okay, go upstairs right now and do whatever you have to do, you're so obviously horny," James said, extending his hand to Lily, "even if you don't excuse yourselves, we are." The two of them ran upstairs into the nearest bedroom that wasn't Sirius' or Regulus' and ripped off each others clothes, thoroughly infatuated by the idea of having a child that they went on another round or two before they cuddled and napped together. 

28 August 1979

They spent most of their days lounging around and waiting for Dumbledore to bring Order news or for others to visit them. They were leaning into the idea that they wouldn't have to go into mortal peril everyday and learnt to appreciate each other. Sirius was becoming more like himself again, and so was Remus. They were all slowly reverting to who they once were.  
"When this is over, we are having the biggest prank war with the Order as possible. And we're gonna have a load of kids and all of them will be their own Quidditch team," James rambled over Remus' and Lily's game of chess. Sirius had taken the liberty of the wood in the attic that he found in making a rocking chair. He was building a load of furniture to satisfy his boredom, and he was really good at it.  
"I agree, actually. That would be really cool," Remus considered and smiled, happy that he was beating Lily.  
"When's the wedding?" Lily asked. The date had been uncertain for a while but Sirius said nonchalantly, "tomorrow."

James jumped up from his seat and spilled his drink all over his front, but took no notice. "TOMORROW?!" Lily and him shouted in unison. "YOU FUCKING WHAT?!"

"You heard him!" Remus stood up, clapping his hands. "We invited the others a week ago, I thought we told you?" James put his fist in his hands and gestured that he would start throwing punches for not telling them for so long.  
"What about best man duties?" James spluttered.  
"Whiskeys and cigars is all we want Jamie boy!" Sirius threw his left leg over his right and started rocking back and forth on his chair, supporting his chin with both of his index fingers and smiled in James' direction, "we didn't tell you because we honestly have been married since we dated. Not literally, but mentally."

"Okay, as long as you're _mentally married, _" James muttered, "you're both nutters for not telling us."__

__"Look," Remus turned to face James, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, "Prongs we love you, you know we do."  
"I know."  
"Fine let's do something more wedding-y," Remus waved his wand and cast some non verbal spells that tidied away everything in the room except a small table which had food on it. Sirius yelled as his chair moved towards the wall and hastily jumped off it.  
"What did you do that for?" James asked incredulously.  
"Well," Remus pulled a chair out for Lily and beckoned her to sit down, and Remus sat down opposite her, drinking the tea that had also appeared on the table, "we are going to talk about our husbands," Remus' eyes twinkled, "well my husband to be, and Lily's husband. And Prongs and Padfoot are going to wrestle each other and do whatever dogs and stags do together." _ _

__James and Sirius were more than happy to oblige and transformed at once. James hadn't been Prongs for a long while now, and it felt good to feel differently. Padfoot was thinking along the same lines as they wrestled each other, destroying most of the things that was in the room. Remus and Lily were whispering together, occasionally giggling and Prongs was certain that he heard the human Remus mention something about how he was so in love with Sirius that he could barely breathe sometimes. But then he chuckled and said it was such a cliche to state that. Lily giggled and whispered that Remus was lucky Sirius wanted to marry him because he had sworn off marriages when he had gotten out of that nightmare engagement. Remus considered this statement for a minute and nodded slowly, finding it harder and harder to resist showing even the glimpse of a smile as he managed to get the love of his life tied down to him forever. And James couldn't think of anyone better for Sirius or for Remus._ _

__"Oi Prongs go play with Padfoot!!" and Remus threw a load of food towards them. Padfoot made for the chicken whilst Prongs ate the salads and the berries that scattered along the floor. Then they play fought again and didn't stop until they were both tired down. They settled themselves for a nap and woke up later to the whole house being cast with wedding decorum._ _

__Padfoot turned back into Sirius and he gaped at his surroundings, his feet controlling his journey. He looked as though his mind was disassociating from his body. James followed right behind him in case he fell over or fainted._ _

__"Oi oi who did this then?" James yelled ecstatically, glad that his friends were gonna get married in what actually _felt_ like a normal wedding, despite the circumstances. Lily emerged from down the stairs, wearing a flower crown and looking almost high and giggled, "IT WAS MEEE! Moony doesn't like his flower crown though." And she pouted. The sight of her just made James want to wrap her around in his arms and kiss her forever. Moony trotted down the stairs with his lopsided crown, also high, and guffawed, "Well it's not ugly but I'll only wear it if Sirius does!"_ _

__"Merlin, what have you both smoked?" Sirius was still gaping, but his facial expression melted from shock to awe as he saw two of his favourite people almost floating around the place wearing a flower crown, "Go to sleep!" Lily nodded and started to yawn, resting on the banister, almost falling over but James hurried up to her and swept her off her feet, bridal styles and carried her to her room._ _

__Remus was another story. He insisted that he wasn't tired but it was evident that he hadn't been sleeping in days. This, Sirius could confirm. Although Sirius usually fell asleep around 2am, he wake up to find Remus in the same position as he was the night before. James had worked it out to be wedding jitters and anxiety. Nonetheless, Prongs wrestled/chased him into his room and wouldn't leave until Remus had actually fallen asleep._ _

__An hour later, James and Sirius found themselves strolling through the halls of the house, whilst Sirius muttered about the portraits that hung on the walls and talking about who they were in relation to the Ministry, Hogwarts or the family. "Phineas Nigellus," Sirius pointed to a portrait hanging over a bed in an unused room. They sat down on the two beds that had remained in there, "I don't know who used this room, but they must've shared. Probably Bellatrix's and Andromeda's. And then when Andy was disowned, Narcissa." James jerked him out of his seat and made him walk around again. James cast tidying spells and admired the flowers that Lily and Remus had scattered around the place. Sirius wanted to get rid of them but James clapped his hand on his shoulder and firmly told him that he was to have a flower wedding._ _

__They went off to find one of Sirius' suits but none of them would fit. "We need one for Remus too, remember?" Sirius remembered half way through putting them on.  
"He's too tall for any of these!"  
"Up yours Potter."  
"Let's look through your dad's wardrobe."  
They trudged around the house until they found a room with "Orion Black" engraved on a gold plaque hanging from it. They entered the room and found that it looked like it had been cleared out, but not very recently. The dust that had gathered had been disturbed, maybe a few years ago, James ventured a guess at this. But Sirius wasn't staring at the ground, he nudged James and pointed to a portrait that James didn't realise. In it, there was a thin, pasty looking man, sitting down and snoozing, wearing a strict expression and a black suit even as he slept._ _

__"Father?" Sirius gestured the portrait awake.  
"Father? Regulus?" Orion saw who it really was and looked disappointed. Sirius was more annoyed than hurt by his tone and expression.  
"No, your disappointment son," Sirius crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out.  
"Oh if I wasn't dead I would-"  
"Hi Orion Black!" James cut him off and wore a false cheery smile.  
"You look like Potter spawn."  
"That I am!"  
"So, Father, what brings you here?" Sirius arched his eyebrows at the portrait and balled his fists.  
"I'm dead, boy, what do you think?"  
"Okay, whatever, where are your suits?"  
"Why?"  
"I fancied snogging your old trousers because I miss you," Sirius' sarcasm was lost on Orion.  
"Snogging my trousers? Sounds qu-"  
"I beg you don't finish that sentence father!"  
"What?" Orion said sharply, holding the lapel of his jacket and eyeing Sirius' sudden motion towards his wardrobe.  
"I'm getting married," Sirius said simply, now nosing around the wardrobe and seizing all the suits he could find.  
"Who to? Which non pure blood have you run off with? Surprised you could find a girl to date you."  
"That's where this conversation gets interesting!"  
"What do you mean by it, boy?"  
"I'm marrying a poor, half-blood, werewolf bloke," Sirius bored his eyes into his father's. Sirius was obviously itching to announce a staring competition but he held back, because he knew that his dad probably wouldn't have the same humour as him, especially not in that point in time.  
"YOU WHAT?!" Orion's portrait looked like it was blazed with fury.  
"You heard me, see ya!" Sirius dropped his formal manner that he had adopted in speaking to his father, and muttered "silencio" at the portrait, turned around and left, carrying a mound of suits and tilted his head at James so he would know to carry the ones that he had dropped._ _

__They went back into the room with Phineas Nigellus' portrait and James' head was bursting with thoughts.  
"My dear father," Sirius said, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling.  
"Get up you lunatic, try on these suits." And Sirius obliged, not seeming to care about how Orion had treated him. Upon seeing James' puzzled expression he said, "He's worse when he's drunk. Hey! I look fine in this," Sirius admired him in the third suit he wore and deemed it perfect. He scoped around the other outfits until he found one that he thought would fit Remus. James knew better than to question this because Sirius always got his size right.  
"You look sexy," James grinned, in attempt to try and ignore his racing thoughts. Sirius smirked.  
"I'm getting married in 12 hours watch it." James looked at his watch and saw that it was around 9 o'clock in the evening.  
"Do you reckon we should sleep?" James stared over at Sirius who was already fast asleep, a huge smile plastered on his face, and James knew he was dreaming of getting out of the house and going out with James, Lily and Remus. Sirius made a violent move, so James thought he had imagined his brother look so content, but he just made to cuddle the suit he picked out for Remus. _ _

__James had no choice but to take off Orion's suit and clothe Sirius in his pyjamas so that he didn't make the suit smell. It wasn't an easy task but he managed it after ten minutes. He passed out shortly after._ _


	5. 1979: Full of Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Sirius' POV  
> \- Mentions of eating disorder and child abuse

29 August 1979

Sirius woke up to James leaping up and down on his bed, yelling "My brother's getting married today! To my best friend!". Sirius was happy to be marrying his favourite person in the world but his mind had focused solely on the horrors of his past - the memories and trauma that had been inflicted on him since the day he rejected his family views of pure blood supremacy. He simply didn't think that being a pure blood meant that you were, in fact, pure. Most of them were dirty cowards who didn't spare any thoughts for the people suffering out there. Instead, they bitched and moaned about who their sons and daughter would marry next. There were few of the pure wizarding families left, few with 'untainted blood'. 

Sirius was once a seven year old boy, standing in front of his six year old brother, defending him from his mother, ensuring that no harm came to Regulus' way. There was the day that his engagement had been announced against his will and there was the day that he had been asked to get the Dark Mark and join the Death Eaters on Christmas Day. Each time, he had been tortured with the Cruciatus Curse and had his skin torn apart. Nothing but the safety of his real family, his real friends, could have made him come back here.

He had always been known for his arrogant poise, as he looked and acted like the kind of guy who understood his handsomeness and seized every opportunity that he had to flaunt it. The truth was that he had that behaviour drilled into him from the time he was ten, when his mother would rant in French about how Sirius never did as he was told, and if he knew what was good for him, he would fake it until he made it. This was one of the only things he obliged to doing, because he didn't just want to be confident because his mother wanted it: he did it because HE wanted it. He wanted to be secure in how he looked, and not want to puke all over himself when he saw his reflection.

"Sirius are you alright love?" Lily had been standing next to him for a good few minutes by the looks of it, and getting increasingly worried that he hadn't been responding to her many offers of doing his makeup. At long last, he agreed. But only after he had changed into his suit and tie.  
"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked as he sorted out his tie and polished the shoes he had taken the liberty of stealing. He made his best attempt to clean them before he resigned himself to wearing one of his family member's old pair of shoes.  
"You're not supposed to see the groom before the ceremony, it's bad luck!" She looked almost appalled that Sirius didn't know that but he really just didn't want to conform to ask many traditions as he had to when he was younger. Remembering the scars that had been inflicted on him, he retraced his legs and arms with the most fazed expression on his face, "are you nervous Pads?" she asked reproachfully, not sure of why he was behaving the way he was.  
"I'm nervous, but I'll be okay!" he said, clapping his hand and plastering the biggest phony expression on his face that he could muster, hoping that Lily bought it. She didn't.  
"You were thinking of your family again weren't you?" and he nodded, allowing Lily to smother him and she became engrossed with doing his makeup soon after.  
"I love Remus. I want us to hyphenate our names. He thinks he's a monster but I think he's a cute lil' chocolate eating, fluffy sweater wearing, sock folding, adorable little mess," Sirius jabbered on and on about his husband-to-be until he heard him clear his throat from the doorway. To this, he stood up abruptly and wore an expression of surprise, "hey Moony l-" and Remus grabbed his boyfriend and kissed him full on the lips, before taking his hand and leading him downstairs to the breakfast table. Sirius was too nervous and felt too dysmorphic to even think about food today.

"I'm not hungry thanks," Sirius cleared his throat and ran to the bathroom before Remus could follow or stop him. He sat with his back against the door and his face placed on his knees, wrapping his arms around himself. He heard a pounding on the door and half expected Remus to curse him out of the bathroom, or for James to ask him to let him in. But instead, it was Lily. It was fucking Lily Evans! She wanted him to talk, that was so evident. He didn't want to though, so he shook his head, sighed, gave her a hug, kissed her head and walked past her.  
"You don't have to talk but you need to eat something. Before I braid flowers in your hair," Lily threatened him menacingly, bringing a fistful of daisies out towards him, showing that she really meant it.  
"Up yours Evans," Sirius shot at her with a snide look, but she stuck her tongue out and dragged him back. Remus had finished his breakfast and was helping himself to seconds. Who had seconds of breakfast?  
"Oi, lunatic, eat," Remus sat back down and withdrew the chair from under the table with his wand. James stood up and walked next to Lily, the pair of them watching like they were his parents.

After that hellish event, Sirius had to sit through Hope and Lyall Lupin. He could tolerate Hope, but it was Lyall he couldn't stand. Him and his precious anti werewolves stance. Got his son bitten, Sirius thought bitterly. Remus often dreaded seeing him, but it was only because he hated ruining his dad's mood, which happened whenever his lycanthropy was mentioned.  
"Where are your parents love?" Hope asked brightly, taking a sip of the wine that Sirius had Kreacher summon from the cellar.  
"One's dead, one's at the Malfoy Manor and two of them are in the hospital," Sirius murmured, not really paying attention to anyone but Remus, who was tripping over everything and talking with the guests. He looked gorgeous in that suit, he looked really really handsome. Sirius busied himself with talking with Hope about Wales.  
"Remus sounds less like a Welshman but there was a time where he had a really thick accent, it was adorable, wasn't it Lyall?"  
Lyall looked bored but he replied, "yeah yeah, so proud of our Remus," with gritted teeth. Sirius got the impression that he wasn't exactly happy with his son being gay, to which Sirius balled his fists in his pockets and wore a mean smile and whispered to him, "if you're still not okay with Remus being comfortable in his identity, then you might as well leave right now." Lyall looked at him, his eyes widening and his mouth hanging open. He said nothing, and continued to drink from his goblet. Hope pretended as though nothing had happened and Sirius saw this as an opportunity to escape them. He rose from the conversation and drifted over to Remus, who was talking to Marlene.

"Oi oi you're looking fit!" Marlene winked and made for the back of the room, which was where they were going to say their vows and become married.  
"Well, ready to become a Lupin-Black?" Remus whispered as he took Sirius' hand and walked with him to Marlene. Everyone had stopped talking.  
"Oh of course."  
Obviously, Remus had given a heartfelt speech on love before denouncing the rest of his emotions and waiting for Sirius to give his vows. He cried instead.

A few hours later, James had found himself crying to the hanging flowers about how his best friends "had finally gotten their shit together and got married!"  
"You alright Prongs?" Sirius slumped in the seat next to James, isolating himself from his guests, in the hope that they would leave. However, Minnie had strolled up to him and given Sirius the biggest hug he could handle.  
"You finally married him. Albus owes me 10 galleons, that bastard thought you and McKinnon would end up together but it was obvious from the start that Marlene had a thing for Dorcas and it was a matter of time before you realised you liked Remus." And with that, she floo'd away, a shit eating grin on her face was the last thing he could remember as she went away. 

When Remus and Sirius had the chance to excuse themselves to the bedroom, after asking Marlene and Mary to stay with them for the week, they were changing out of their outfits and putting on their pyjamas, hoping to gain some energy. "So why haven't you been eating Pads?" Moony cut to the chase and wasn't going to conform with the niceties.  
"I hate looking like them, like her," Sirius suddenly got very worked up, his grey eyes blazing and he felt as if he could spit fire, "I'm tired of living like this Remus! Living like a Black, thinking and acting like one. Toujours Pur!" he spat, "what a load of shit, what a load of fucking garbage. This is not the Noble and Most Ancient of Black, this is the shitty and incest house of fucking blood supremacists who cannot adapt themselves to the idea that their son might fall in love with a half blood werewolf who loves chocolate and folding his socks! And I just don't want to be like them, I don't WANT to be stuck in this house, this house makes me sick, it makes me not want to eat, sleep, or shower!" Sirius sat down on the bed and screamed into a pillow, forgetting his trousers, but not caring either. Remus crouched besides him, still standing on the floor.

"Look love, you're not them. You're not a Black, you're a Lupin-Black. It's different," Remus added that last part with a tone of firmness in his voice, as if trying to convince himself too, "you don't look like her. She's a piece of shit who doesn't have a heart. Who keeps herself alive out of pure spite. She's not your mother, and this isn't HER house, it's ours. We've redecorated as much as we can, and that's enough." Sirius appreciated this all the same, and motioned for Remus to big spoon him. His stomach let off the largest rumble he had ever seen, and he clutched it, in agony.  
"Sirius!" Remus ran out of the room and left the door open, just as James and Lily were walking by. They helped him up and put him in his bed, tucking him under his duvet. Then, they excused themselves to go and try to make a child.

Remus appeared a few minutes later with a load of food and told him to eat all of it or he wouldn't be happy. Sirius eventually ate all of them without puking. It took him several minutes to stop throwing up once it happened but Remus was just grateful he was eating something.  
"Now let's talk about why you can't sleep," Sirius looked up at Remus who's eyes were drooping steadily and he just said, "in case you wake up from another nightmare."  
Sirius tried covering Remus in the duvet but felt too weak to, so he just fell asleep on top of him, in attempt to keep him warm.

19 September 1979

Dumbledore was making frequent visits now, and Mary and Marlene had settled themselves down with the four of them, not moving until the war was over.  
"We need to keep Lils company!" Mary said, slouching on her chair and brushing her hair to the side, "besides, we're bored."  
"It's hard to be bored when you're at war," James said simply, his glasses askew, and his face expressionless.  
"Wow, what about Dorcas?" Sirius asked, arching his eyebrows at Marlene, whose cheeks flushed red. She muttered, "seeing some other girl, says I'm getting too complicated to be around, or whatever that means." she looked close to tears. Lily made "aww" sounds and rushed over to Marlene, saying that they were there, no matter what. Remus edged himself away from her, and Sirius understood that whilst he cared deeply for each of them, it was difficult for him to help with their emotions, it was something everyone knew and didn't complain about, but he was just nervous that everyone would hate him if he got too emotionally overwhelmed.

James was usually good at comforting the boys or Lily, but he never knew how to speak to anyone else without making a fool of himself.  
"Marls, love, she's shit," Sirius knew it was the wrong thing to say but he had to cover for James and Remus, whose faces were ashen with shame.  
She chuckled weakly and then rose, to rifle through the cabinets and try to find a drink.  
"Lily chucked out the alcohol," Sirius said, swinging his chair legs over so that the two chair legs remained on the ground, and two airborne, "she said and I quote 'you boys are getting drunk too often' like okay mum." Lily's expression made Sirius believe that she could kill him, something that Sirius had learned not to doubt. She had tried it. A few times.  
"Well, I wasn't wrong. This house smelled entirely of stale ale. And I didn't think ale could be stale." "That was only because Moony spilled it everywhere!" James protested, not meeting Lily's eyes.  
"Was he drunk?" Mary snorted.  
"No-" Remus stuttered, holding his hands up in surrender, "well yes but that's besides the point. We're 19, we're not boys."  
"Oh you're not men either, you three drink alcohol as if your life depends on it!" Lily reached in the cabinet for some ingredients to cook dinner with, first taking out a wooden spoon. She used it to emphasise her words, but it had never made Sirius flinch so hard. His heartbeat raced and his eyes widened. He started trembling and could barely string two words in a thought together. Lily wouldn't hit him like that? Right? But he had thought the same thing about Mother.  
"Well yes but that's because it does. We're holed up in this house all the time! How do you manage to pass the time?" Sirius said at last, gasping for air. No one seemed to notice, thank god.  
"I stay out of Kreacher's way," Lily murmured, trying to busy herself with the newly found ingredients she wanted to use for dinner. She began chopping the vegetables and used her wand to boil the water in a pan that lay on the counter.

"KREACHER!" Sirius summoned, restoring all four chair legs to the ground and flexing his wrists, almost menacingly. His house elf had appeared, with an expression of absolute loathing towards Sirius. Sirius grabbed the hem of his pillowcase that he wore around his body as a sign of his enslavement, "if you give Miss Evans, Mr Potter, Mr Lupin-Black, Miss McKinnon or Miss MacDonald, I will not be happy. Also if you disappear and go to the Malfoy Manor, you are not to reveal any of our secrets. None of them. I order you." He released him, feeling his eyes bulging and fury overtook him, "YOU WILL NOT BETRAY OUR SECRETS IN ORDER TO KISS YOUR OLD MASTERS' ARSES." Kreacher said nothing, did nothing. He stood there, motionless. "Move, go back to that filthy pantry you call your room."  
"You didn't have to do that," Lily said despairingly, "I wish I hadn't tossed the alcohol away."  
Sirius held his hand up for silence, and called Kreacher to go get some alcohol and rubbed his temples, as if massaging his way out of a headache.  



	6. 1979: Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Lily's POV

15 September 1979

"James, do you think we're even close to having a child? Is it even wise to have one in the middle of a war?" Lily whisper shouted as the others cleared out of the dining room. She had been overly stressed and wanted a child. She wanted children. But it felt too dangerous and she couldn't bear to think about what would happen to the child if they died.  
"Lily the baby would go to Sirius and Remus," James said firmly.  
"Yes but what if something happens to them? What then?" Lily started to pace around the room, anxiety articulating. She made hand gestures as she spoke and wasn't afraid to use her facial expressions and her green eyes burst with worry.  
"Don't you have a sister?" James frowned at the thought, as if leaving the child to raise itself would've been better than to give it to Petunia, her sister. And she agreed.  
"With Pet? No. She would mistreat the child and with that husband of hers? They are so anti-magic they would literally try to force the magic out of them. No, we would not be giving them to Pet. I refuse," Lily said firmly, crossing her arms.  
"Lily dear you wouldn't be able to refuse if you're dead," James stated wearily, resting his head in his hands, thinking that Lily wouldn't be able to hear his silent fit of giggles. Immature git.  
"Oh this is funny, is it James Fleamont Potter?" Lily grabbed the nearest thing she could reach and started walloping him with it, his silent giggles becoming loud and booming.  
"It's funny because you're over-exaggerating. Dumbledore would eat shit before he gave away our hiding place." Lily couldn't resist laughing at James' remark on Dumbledore eating shit, the image not leaving her head.

"OH you suck!" she groaned.  
"We should have a kid. Imagine a little James and Lily running around. I, for one, would love to pass down my mischief and potions knowledge onto that little baby."  
"Oh imagine if I could have kids for us and for Sirius and Remus. They would be best friends."  
"Siblings!" James punched her arm playfully as she rested her head on his shoulder, sitting down next to him.  
"You're fine with me carrying their child, should that opportunity occur?" Lily was about to get up and start pacing again but James pulled her hand back downwards, forcing her body down with her.  
"Baby it's your body, and I would love for you to, if it was my choice anyway. They deserve a kid as much as we do." This meant a lot to Lily because she had been thinking about how James really thought about the whole situation.

Dumbledore had visited later that day, and Lily couldn't stop thinking about what James had said about him, and every time she caught his eye, they giggled, failing to keep it together.  
"What?" Sirius demanded, "is it because of my man bun?" his hair was so long that he had managed to put it in a bun, with the help of Marlene and Mary. Those two were also laughing their arses off, Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, to show that he was thoroughly amused by what had been happening.  
"I would eat shit before I gave away your hiding place," Dumbledore murmured quietly, so only Lily could hear.  
"You used legilimency on us. Not fair," Lily tutted but could hardly stay fake-mad.  
"Let's get down to the important matters at hand," Remus intertwined both of his hands together, placing them on the table and leaning forward, staring intently at Dumbledore.  
"Yeah, we want to go to Mungo's to check if I'm pregnant and to help Sirius and Remus have a baby too," Lily babbled. None of anything she just said made any remote sense, and anyone who was listening in would've felt the same way.  
"I'll arrange for you to go on the 3rd of November," Dumbledore gazed at the fireplace, as if amazed by it.  
"Hey it's my birthday that day!" Sirius grinned. "Sir aren't you meant to be in school? You used to tell us off for not showing up to class!" James rested his legs on the table, a grin spreading on his face.  
"I'm the headmaster, it's allowed."  
"Excuses!" Remus said, a slight smile glimmered on his face.  
"Where are Marlene and Mary?" Dumbledore looked around at the faces on the table with genuine interest.  
"They're upstairs sleeping. Everyone does that a lot these days," James said quietly.  
"I threw out the alcohol, but sir, when you next visit, bring as much as you can," Lily pleaded. She stood up, sighing, and walked over to James, gave him a hug, and sat on his lap.

"I understand how bored and overwhelming being shut up in this house you may feel." Dumbledore sighed too, leaning back on his chair like Sirius and looking exhausted, "there's not much we can do to take him down. I don't want to be fighting a losing fight, but it may be headed that way."  
"Dumbledore, I don't believe that!" Remus exclaimed, stifling a yawn.  
"For now, concentrate on your desire to have children," and with that, he reached into his pocket and got out some Floo powder and disappeared in the emerald flames. The four of them watched with utter exhaustion.  
"Okay, well, James and I are going to go,, and make a baby." 

31 October 1979

"IT'S HALLOWEEN WAKE YOUR ASSES UP!" Marlene was running through the house, opening the doors with a flick of her wand, hollering for everyone to wake up. Whilst Sirius and James had been avoiding annoying Lily, Marlene, Mary and Remus knew better, and only stopped annoying her whilst she was having her morning sickness. Sirius ran into James' and Lily's room and collapsed on their bed, right in the middle of them, apparently very exhausted. Remus sauntered after him and stood in the doorway, gazing at him in amazement.  
"How did he fall asleep so quickly?" James said, his nose in Sirius' face as he made sure that it really was him. James reached for his glasses groggily and rubbed his eyes.

"He's tired as fuck. We were up all night discussing baby names, what to do when the baby comes, and doing some other things," Remus looked at his shoes and said nothing more.  
"Cool," James grinned, throwing some trousers at Remus and he said, "we can't do that for another nine months."  
"We can, it just wouldn't be very comfortable for either of us," Lily grumbled, not returning any of the delight.  
"The usual plans then?" Mary asked, pushing past Remus and patting Lily's stomach.  
"Getting drunk? I think, yes," James swatted Mary's hand away and pressed his ear against Lily's stomach, giggling and kissing it.  
"You're a right little girl Prongs," Marlene slapped his head.

3 November 1979

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYYY!" Sirius took his turn in running around the house in glee. He disturbed all the portraits that lay hanging from the walls and ran into Orion's room, pissing off his father and locking the room again.  
"Happy birthday love," Remus mused, and they all burst into their usual birthday carolling that they did every year. There wasn't much to do, but James had invited the Tonks' and this was the best birthday present Sirius would've wanted.

"ANDY!" Sirius hugged his cousin and kissed her forehead, shook Ted's hand and proceeded to pick up Nymphadora, whose hair flushed a bright blue.  
"Here's my favourite niece," he said, releasing her and crouching down to her height, "you're going to have a cousin to play with soon!" and he pointed to Lily, who received many daunting compliments and Nymphadora hugged her, and kissed her cheek. Lily felt overwhelmed with happiness and started to cry.

"Come on now, Dora," Ted prised his daughter from Lily and carried her upstairs. Startled, everyone followed him upstairs. He sat down on the bed in Sirius' room with Nymphadora and they all made themselves comfortable.  
"I wouldn't sit there Ted, we haven't washed the duvet yet," Sirius grinned guiltily, and Remus turned towards the door and almost walked out. Ted jumped off, seizing Nymphadora up from the bed with him.  
"I'll just wash these," Remus grabbed the covers and hurried out of sight. There was an awkward silence at first, but they all warmed up towards the end, laughing and making jokes. Andromeda offered Lily some excellent pregnancy advice and offered to bring some clothes and books for her the next time she visited. She was attacked by Kreacher and had to stand down through the orders of Sirius, whose eyes flashed with warning every time he addressed the house elf.

"You ready Lils?" James was holding onto her hand, wearing a massive coat to keep himself warm. Lily was also wearing one, and the pair of them looked like a couple of eggs. Sirius, who rarely got cold, was wearing a top, a leather jacket over that and some jeans, looking as warm and as cosy as Lily hoped to have felt. Remus was scared to go, he was cold and upset.  
"Come on Rem," Sirius said gently, prodding at him as Remus stared blankly into space on his stool. Remus looked alive at Sirius' touch and went to go and get himself a coat, and a couple of pairs of extra socks. Sirius grinned at the sight of him, and took his hand. They were waiting on Dumbledore to appear, and after five minutes, he did.  
"I bought the drinks you all crave," Dumbledore held up several crates of alcohol and set them down on the floor, and beckoned for them to Floo through the fireplace. 

The next thing Lily could see was the waiting room inside a large and comfortable hospital. Most of the surfaces were white, and the atmosphere was warm and beckoning. A Healer came rushing towards them, grabbing Lily by the hand. James, who was holding onto her other hand, rushed along with a flailing look of panic. Sirius, Remus and Dumbledore followed suite, looking nonchalant and bored.

Lily was pregnant. She knew it before the Healer told her. She had this funny feeling in her stomach and it had been keeping her up at night for a few days. She had asked Dumbledore for books of pregnancy, and he snuck them in late at night so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. Once James had fallen asleep, she would gently remove herself from his grip and go downstairs to read by candlelight in the room with Sirius' family tree. She kept the books stacked up in the corner, so if someone happened to be in the room, they wouldn't notice them at first.

Sirius found out though. And then Remus. Mary and Marlene too. None of them told James. They were excited for her, but understood that she wanted confirmation first. They had wanted a baby ever since they got married, so Lily didn't want to bring her husband's hopes up if they had to come crashing down, miserably. When the Healer had announced her pregnancy, James cried. She cried. And eventually all of them started crying. Dumbledore stood in the biggest shadow he could find, as to not intrude on their happiness. 

A few hours later, with the help of several Healers, she was pregnant with a second child. Sirius' and Remus'. James sobbed again. He wailed, screamed, shouted, exclaimed in joy. Sirius and Remus were holding onto each other, with extreme notes of anxiety in their faces. But they loosened up once Lily complained that she would be carrying two children in her womb and that they ought not to complain for another nine months or so. They were given a load of baby names books and settled their nerves over some whiskey. Lily didn't have some though, because that would've stunted the growth of her baby.

"We don't know the genders, it's too early to tell," Lily screamed for the millionth time at a very ruby red Sirius, who also happened to be drunk. Remus was drinking some coffee, as opposed to alcohol. He did that in order to support Lily, and remembered that she couldn't have coffee whilst he was in the middle of his third cup, and switched over to tea.  
"Lily, if it's a boy, we should call him James Potter junior! And if it's a girl we should call her Flower," James slurred, looking at Lily with puppy eyes.  
"No James Fleamont!" Lily was getting exhausted from having him yell the same names every hour.

Sirius and Remus seemed to be conversing about their baby's name very seriously, "I'M ALWAYS SIRIUS!" he yelled over to Lily who had noted this observation with Mary and Marlene.  
"UNDOUBTEDLY NOW SHUT UP AND STOP LISTENING TO OUR CONVERSATIONS!"


	7. 1979: Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Remus' POV  
> \- Mentions of s*lf harm. Take care of yourself please!!

_Oh baby I am a wreck when I'm without you  
I need you here to stay  
I broke all my bones that day I found you  
Crying at the lake ! ___

____

__

__25 December 1979_ _

__There weren't that many presents. In fact, they went to St. Mungos, as James' parents were extremely ill, and Sirius and James had requested to visit, not caring about being in hiding.  
"I had my birthday and wedding in hiding, I don't give a rat's ass anymore Dumbledore," Sirius' eyes were undoubtedly struck with despair and grief. And Remus felt sorry for him. He had never been able to rely on many things, but he always knew that the Potters would be there for him.  
"And they're my parents," James said, with the firmest voice Remus had ever heard him use, "Lily's pregnant with their grandchild and I really don't care if it's not safe, we're going to go." _ _

__Lily was insistent on them all going, and was getting herself ready to go. Remus felt that he had no right to see Mr and Mrs Potter, but Sirius, again, had taken him by the shoulder and told him that he was being stupid: Fleamont and Euphemia were Remus' parents in law, and they had taken him in many times and would love for him to see them. He didn't want to argue with that, and felt that he was right. This was about them, and Remus should be there._ _

Once they arrived at St. Mungos, James collapsed at the sight of his parents and started crying. They smiled feebly, taking Sirius' hand and then Lily's. Dumbledore took to lurking in the shadows again, with his hand out, as if expecting someone to attack them.  
"You alright, Remus, love?" Remus offered his hand out for Euphemia to hold but she hugged him insteaad.  
"I'm fine Mrs P," Remus could feel a tear falling from his cheek albeit his strongest urge telling him not to. "Oh, call me mum," she held onto his hand weakly, and looked over to Lily and gave her the biggest smile she could muster, "we take in all strays," she said to both of them, "and even though James is the only child I carried, all of you kids are mine. We dreamed of having a massive family, and it took a while, a long while, but we got there in the end, eh?" Lily started crying, too grief stricken to be her own support system. Remus clutched onto her as she wept.

__

__

James and Sirius were trying to make their dad laugh, all of them chuckling over the prospect of them becoming parents.  
"Oh you're going to have to teach your grandchildren alchemy and potions. What will others think if the great Fleamont Potter's grandchildren didn't possess his natural talent for potion making?"  
"Dad, don't worry, baby James will definitely take after you," James tried his best to smile, but there was too much pain before his eyes.  
"Baby Nebula will too!" Sirius offered a tissue to James and all of them laughed again.  
"Nebula?" Remus said suddenly, "we are not naming my child Nebula."  
"Your child, Remus?" Sirius stood up and shoved Lily onto the bed, hugging Remus tightly and allowing himself to loosen up, only after a while, and tip-toed to whisper, "she's our child you bastard."

"Now, now," the Healer strolled up to them and spoke bristly and briefly, "they need to be left alone." Remus kissed Mrs Potter on the cheek, and shook Mr Potter's hand, embracing him into a hug and told the both of them that he loved them dearly, and walked away, resisting the urge to cry. Sirius followed him after saying his goodbyes, Lily after, and then James. He was getting dragged away by Dumbledore, who had a firm grip on James' forearms, reassuring him that they needed their rest and he could lash out when they were at home.

Lily prepared a mini feast for them, but they focused less on the food and more on the memories of James' parents. Sirius hadn't eaten a thing, but after Remus had eyed him and gestured to him to eat, he managed a few spoonfuls. It was something, at least.  
"To Mr and Mrs Potter!" Mary raised her glass and gave a toast, not knowing them all too well but Remus, James and Sirius appreciated it all the same.  
"I can't believe I'm losing them!" James had gotten extremely drunk again, trying to forget his sorrows by drowning them in firewhiskey and beer.  
"They took me in when I had no one else," Sirius said sadly, pouting and watching his see-through glass, getting lost in his own thoughts. His shoulder jerked and Remus took this to mean that he didn't like what he was thinking and wanted to distract himself.

"Mum wouldn't want us to dwell on her and mourn over her. She's strong, and we will obviously always remember her and Dad, but we mustn't stop living our lives if they stop living theirs!" Sirius said firmly, slamming his fist on the table as James opened his mouth to retaliate.  
"Alright that's enough," Remus said, sitting in between them and wondering furiously when they would stop lashing out, "I don't know what losing parents is like, but for the love of god, we're all feeling this, we all mourn differently. What matters is that we're all here for each other."

Marlene and Mary assisted Lily in getting up and took her up to their room, knowing that James probably needed his space. Remus stared at his watch, stood up and left the room, running up the stairs so that when he got to his room he could slam the door and turn over to the side that turned his back against Sirius so that they wouldn't need to talk. This manoeuvre often didn't work because Sirius had other means of making Remus talk or to cheer him up. Sirius finally staggered up to the room, his eyes bloodshot, his body shaking violently, as if frozen cold. Remus couldn't pretend to sleep. Not now. He jumped out of bed, wrenching his covers and throwing them over his husband, his knees sagging slightly as he struggled to support both of their weight. Sirius didn't seem to be helping either, he was completely zoned out and only came round when Remus slapped his face.

"Love," Remus murmured, it's okay, alright?" Sirius nodded slightly and grasped his thighs in pain. It was only then that Remus had noticed the blood dripping on the floor. He sat Sirius up on the bed, who was clutching his legs, determined not to let Remus see what had happened to them. "Colloportus," Remus said to the door, shutting it with force so that no one could come in. Remus fought against Sirius, both grappling over Sirius' knees and eventually, his breathing become rather ragged as he gave up the fight, but his eyes were widening. Remus unbuckled Sirius' trousers and threw them across the room.

Nothing could've prepared Remus for what he saw. It was so undoubtedly painful to him that he now understood how the marauders had felt after every full moon. Sirius' thighs were scratched and slashed, blood seeping out of every cut. There were many gashes on his leg and Remus knew that he wouldn't be able to get that image out of his head, no matter how hard he tried.  
"What did you use?" Remus whimpered at the sight and almost burst into tears, holding on only for Sirius, for he knew he was in deeper pain.  
"A knife," Sirius sounded croaky, as if his throat and mouth had dried up. And it probably had, he was losing a lot of blood and he was crying. There was nothing on his body but his shirt, sweat, tears and blood.  
"Where is it?"  
"The bathroom." Remus took off to the bathroom after opening and closing the door with his wand, and hurried back, also carrying medical supplies that he had conjured. He was quick to get back and made sure no one saw him. He tended to Sirius' wounds and murmured "holy shit Siri." repeatedly.

After Remus had tended to his legs, he tried to clean the excess blood off, so that his legs didn't look raw and a deep red. Sirius tried to move his arms, but he couldn't.  
"Take off my shirt please," Sirius cried again, in anguish and agony as Remus obliged. The whole of his right arm looked as if Sirius had attempted to cut it, and the left looked as if he had cut so deep that he was about to bleed out. Sirius was evidently having a panic attack and Remus tried to tend to his arm wounds as well as calm him down.  
"Sirius please, I'm doing my part, do yours," Remus sobbed, looking at the broken body of his husband and wishing he could take all of his pain away so that Remus suffered, not him. Sirius had started to calm down and at last, said, "I did it again, I'm so so sorry."  
"Don't apologise my love, it's okay, I'm not mad."  
"This is how we felt after every full moon. It's not why I did it but I know the pain you're feeling deep down," Sirius murmured, closing his eyes and going extremely white. Remus slapped him and was determined to keep him awake. Sirius' eyes opened back again.  
"We're going to talk about this," Remus said firmly, holding onto Sirius' face.

"They were my parents Rem, and they're dying," Sirius weeped into Remus' shoulders, holding onto him with all of his might. Remus swayed him back and forth, cradling him like a child, not knowing what to say. He stroked his hair and kissed him in all the places that Sirius didn't wince at. They sat in that position until the sun came up. Once the sheets were cold, Remus took this to mean that he was no longer bleeding. Sirius' eyes were fixated outside the window and in the direction of the horizon. His breathing steadied ever so slowly but he knew that Sirius was still mulling over all the times the Potters had taken him in and treated him as their own.

__26 December 1979_ _

"We need to clean these sheets," Remus said, looking around at the room and gazing at all of the bloodstained messes that lay either on the floor or the bed, "accio knife!" The knife soared into Remus' hand, and he decided that he needed to get rid of it. But how? Sirius made to grab it, eyeing it intensely but Remus held it high above his head and firmly refused to give it to him. Instead, they threw it out the window and decided to leave it at that. They used a cleaning spell on the sheets, it wasn't done greatly but it was the best they could've done. "Sirius sleep," Remus said after another hour of sitting in the same position.

"No, I'm fine."  
"If you can stand up without wobbling or shaking then you're fine," Remus crossed his arms and stared down at his face. Sirius grasped onto the bedpost and tried to stand up. It worked for a split second, but then he almost fell. "WHOA!" Remus exclaimed, flying off the bed so that if Sirius fell down, it would be on top of Remus.  
"Sleep."  
"All right, but don't tell anyone what happened.. except maybe James."

Once Remus had settled Sirius in the bed safely and securely, he opened the door and stared at the clock right outside of it. It was 8am.  
"Remmy what you doing up?" James said in a semi-cheery/booming voice, still sad about his parents but doing his best to keep his hopes up, "where's Sirius?" his smile began to falter as Remus grimaced. He gestured for the nearest empty room he could find and spoke in the lowest voice he could muster, "he did it again last night."  
"Did what again?" James looked concerned now, and the bespectacled boy scrunched his face up in concentration. When he figured it out, his face elongated ever so suddenly and he made to run out the room. Remus grasped his arm and tried to force him away from the door.  
"He's sleeping, we can talk later," Remus sighed exasperatedly.  
"He's my brother, Remus!"  
"Yeah and he's sleeping, he hasn't slept all night!"  
"Have you slept?" Remus stared at James, not giving him an answer, "have you?" James demanded. He shook his head, and stifled a yawn at the back of his hand, but James couldn't be fooled.  
"What if he does it again?" Remus said worriedly, beginning to pace.  
"Why did he do it?" James put his hands on his hips and watched as Remus paced back and forth, his eyes following him in whatever direction he went in.  
"He was upset about your parents, I don't know. He said it was because of that. What happened when I left the room last night?"

"We talked about our parents and then I hugged him. He seemed pretty distraught but no less than me. And then I went after about twenty minutes. When I came down for some water an hour later he was still in the same position, staring at the table, but once or twice I saw him eyeing the knives in the kitchen. I didn't know what he could've done with them so I left it. Fuck this is my fault."  
"James that's honestly stupid, you didn't know he would do it again. He didn't know. When he stopped the last time, we all thought it was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song at the beginning is Line Without A Hook, Rick Montgomery


	8. 1980: The Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- James' POV

2 February 1980

Sirius had resorted to day drinking. He always had a whiff of drink on him. Remus didn't approve but knew better than to tell him to stop. He wouldn't listen. James understood why. Mr and Mrs Potter had passed away shortly before the New Years. Lily still had about five months of pregnancy but seemed downer than usual. James was usually good at comforting everyone but instead he sat down and asked Sirius to pass him some alcohol too. The full moon was yesterday, so Remus lay upstairs, in unspoken agony. 

They hadn't accompanied him to Hogwarts the last few times. They usually apparated to Hogsmeade, met with Madam Pomfrey and headed to the Shrieking Shack and became Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. Then, the next day, they would stay in Dumbledore's office and talk with McGonagall. So when Remus went alone, he preferred to let Madam Pomfrey help heal his wounds and then apparated back to the house, not wanting to overstay his welcome without his best friends.

Dumbledore was expected today. They never got word of when he would be coming around so they never knew. He sent a letter ahead of time, though. The letter read:  
"Hello Mr and Mrs Potter, Mr Lupin-Black's, Miss McKinnon and Miss MacDonald,  
I shall be visiting on the second next month, I have urgent news to deliver. Hoping you are well,  
APWBD"

"That bastard's probably giving us bad news, probably can't leave the house for another five years," Lily grumbled upon reading it for the millionth time.  
"Don't joke about that Evans, I'd smoke and drink my way to an early death," Sirius said into his third alcohol bottle in two hours.  
"Wish he'd given us a specific time," Mary mumbled, lighting her second cigarette and staring at the fireplace.  
"Why would we need to know? What are we doing except boring ourselves to death?" James jerked his head upwards, to look over at Mary who made a face at him.  
"We could've been having an orgy," Marlene giggled. Everyone present turned to look at her.  
"I'm pregnant!" Lily said defiantly.  
"And you're married!" James reminded her.  
"Oh yeah, that too," Lily decided to massage her belly as James gave her a withering look, "you can't be mad at your poor pregnant wife, can you Jamesipie?"  
"I can try!"  
"Oh yeah?" Lily snapped, "try it."

"I'm checking up on Remus," Sirius said, dropping his bottle and trudging out of the room. They could hear the receding footsteps on the stairs and James didn't stop trying to overhear movement until he knew for sure that Sirius was with Remus. His ears were poised up, his eyes too.  
"You look stupid," Marlene said, flicking his head with her fingers, "stop it!"  
"Oi Marlene!" James yelled. They had a mini fight and only stopped when they felt a blast of warm air rush past them. Albus Dumbledore emerged from the already fading green flames.  
"Remus upstairs?" he asked, "let's go, we all ought to be hearing this."

They followed Dumbledore, Lily leading first, with one hand behind her back, holding James'. James second, Mary and then Marlene; all bore confusing looks on their face but said nothing until they reached Sirius' room.  
"Are they doing anything in there?" Mary asked cautiously, biting her fingernails.  
"No, Remus must be too tired to," James cackled. It felt so great to laugh but he wasn't sure he deserved to. His parents were dead. He shouldn't be so happy.   
"It's nice to hear you laugh James," Dumbledore looked at him briefly before turning to the doorknob, opening it with his wandless and non verbal magic.  
Remus and Sirius were cuddling together in bed, and James felt that that was what both of them needed right now. To be and to feel loved.

"Sorry to interrupt," Dumbledore sat himself on the foot of the bed, and looked around at everyone present. James, Lily, Mary and Marlene stood, frozen at the doorway. Remus and Sirius looked confused but said nothing, "but there was a prophecy foretold several weeks ago." He said nothing after, as if waiting on one of them to ask.  
"Well, what was it about?" James asked impatiently, not having time for Dumbledore to take it slow.  
"It was a prophecy talking about the child born to the parents who have thrice defied Lord Voldemort."  
"We've all defied him at least three times!" Lily gasped, holding onto her belly, as if she was expecting someone to try and assassinate the unborn children in her womb.  
"Exactly, and he's going to try and kill you all. Well, Mary and Marlene excluded," Dumbledore smiled humbly at Mary and Marlene as if expecting them to dance around and sing at the top of their lungs in joy. Their expressions turned stone cold.  
"No one else knows we're here, except the people who've visited, right?" Mary asked, with high notes of paranoia in her voice.  
"No one knows, except the people who've visited," he repeated calmly, and then proceeded to say, "I have an idea."  
"Your ideas are often ridiculous and we're usually kept in the dark for most of it, old man," Sirius snarled, crossing his arms and bearing some dog-ish expressions, as if he was more Padfoot than Sirius at the moment.

"And you're quite right!!" Dumbledore held his hands up as if surrendering himself to them, "but we could set something up in Godric's Hollow," he winked.  
"Why Godric Hollow?" Marlene frowned, rubbing her eyes so that her makeup became ruined, runny and incomplete.  
"There's a cottage there, the other side is labouring under the illusion that you would hide there."  
"So why haven't they attacked? Or at least checked out the house?" Mary looked bored and incredulous.  
"They are waiting for Lord Voldemort's orders!"  
"They are so unbelievably stupid!" James howled, not completely knowing why, but understanding enough of what his old headmaster was saying that he felt he ought to be beating the ground with his fists at the audacity of the Death Eaters for being so dumb.  
"Honestly, Dumbledore could just tip off someone who's one of them, but doesn't appear to be, like a spy, and then wait for them to set up a sting, and then whilst Voldy walks into the cottage, a load of Aurors could be there and just ATTACK, you know?" Remus finally spoke up, sounded wearily exhausted.  
"That's an idea," Dumbledore stood up, "that's the same idea I had."  
"Ok so when are you telling one of their spies?"   
"Right now."  
"Who's the spy?" Sirius looked intently at Dumbledore's physique.  
"Severus Sna-"  
"SNIVELLOUS??" James yelled, making everyone jump.  
"Of course that little oddball would be a spy, he makes me sick," Sirius retched.

Once Dumbledore left, they calmed down and stayed in Sirius' room for the rest of the day. Lily was in and out, getting a load of food to satisfy her cravings. They continuously napped and barely spoke to each other. But their presence was comforting to each other, and for now, was all they had.

15 May 1980

Dumbledore had come around a few nights after telling them about the prophecy, telling them that it would be safe for them to come out of the house, but unwise, as there were many Death Eaters still lingering around the country.  
"Can't believe that was that," Lily was mumbling to herself a lot these days, no one knew why, but were too scared to ask.  
"What happened again? I need to hear it AGAIN," Sirius was in a brighter mood these days, knowing that he could go out if he wanted to.  
"Dumbledore told Snivelly that all they needed to do was go to Godric's Hollow, to our old cottage and we'd be there. He ratted us out to Voldy and then they went to the house, and Dumbledore attacked him from behind, Mad-Eye attacked every enemy in the vicinity, and literally all the Aurors brought most of them down - Dumbledore took care of You-Know-Who and we're free!" James was giggling as he repeated the story for the second time today.  
"James, Sirius, are you two high?" Remus eyed them suspiciously but James knew better than that. He was really feeling as giddy as the rest of them felt, but knew he couldn't show it, because he thought he could affect their good luck somehow.  
"Are we what?" Sirius covered his mouth as he continuously laughed, running around the place as if he was a toddler again.  
"High!"  
"Hello," James smiled and ducked as Remus threw a book at his head.

"We're almost freeeee," Marlene giggled. Mary too.  
Everyone was laughing and sharing good spirits, getting out all of their game boards, and playing 'Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy' by Queen. Sirius and Remus loved it the most because it was the song they got engaged to.  
"Ah!" James said, the feeling of euphoria coursing through his veins, "lets discuss baby names!"   
"Okay," Sirius started bouncing around in his seat, and Remus had to hold his hand in attempt to stop his energetic ass from breaking things but Sirius shed a few tears.  
"What's wrong Pads?" James asked, knowing the answer.  
"My crush is holding my hand!"   
"We're married Sirius, you gotta stop," Remus said, clutching his hand tighter and kissing it.  
"Okay," Lily sat down at the head of the table, with parchment and a quill in hand, "if me and James have a boy, I'm in favour of making the middle name James, if it's a girl, Lily. But we don't have the first names sorted."  
"How about Thaddicus?" Marlene laughed, and immediately turned to high five Sirius, who made someone different suggest the name whenever they thought of their children.  
"No!" Lily had perfected her most stern tone, making her sound exactly like Minnie.

"My god James, you're looking hairy," Sirius had taken to studying James' unshaven face, evidently bored by Lily constantly shooting down name ideas. Remus' face lit up.  
"That's the name!" he shouted.  
"Hairy?" James chuckled, "you wanna name my child Hairy James Potter?"  
"Not Hairy, that's even more stupid than Thaddicus!" Lily exclaimed, "Moons I was rooting for you!"  
"No, thickheads," Remus sighed, and began to explain the name he had picked out when Sirius yelled: "excuse me! What's wrong with Thaddicus??"  
"Everything!" Mary slammed her fist to the table to mock the stony expression Lily was wearing.  
"Anyway," Remus said airily, trying not to let anyone interrupt, "not Hairy, Harry!"

Everyone went silent for a minute, staring either at Remus, Lily, James or the table.  
"I actually like that name," Lily said seriously, writing it down, "what do you think James?"  
"I think that if our child is a boy, then fuck yes, Harry James Potter!"  
"I'll wash your mouth out James Fleamont!" Sirius grinned, reminding James of his mother. For the first time since their death, the thought of his parents didn't actually pain him. It bought fond memories to the surface and he felt light.

"What about if it's a girl?"  
"We could call her Minerva Lily Potter," Sirius said, actually weighing in his opinion with some gravitas.  
"Lily Minerva," Lily thought, "But that would be confusing."  
"Minerva Lily," Sirius said firmly, and looked around for support.  
"I love the idea of those two names. I think, maybe we could add another name."  
"Astra?" Remus asked, reading into the book of baby girl names, "Astra Minerva Lily Potter."  
"Astra LILY MINERVA," Lily bellowed, but wrote it down.  
"That's a star name," Sirius said, shrugging.

"What about your kid then, Remus and Sirius?" Mary asked, standing up to lean over the table, her ass in the air. Marlene watched her with some awe and only stopped when James winked at her.  
"For a boy?" Sirius placed his hands on his knees and winced slightly, "we gotta have our names as their middle names, but uhm.."  
"So your possible son could have the name 'something Sirius Remus Lupin-Black'?" James asked with some curiousness and amusement in his voice.  
"What about something like Edward? Teddy for short," Remus thought, still looking at the ceiling.  
"Edward Sirius Remus Lupin-Black?" Marlene asked, definitely not trying to hide how hilarious she found the name.  
"How about just Edward?" James suggested, peering over at Lily's parchment, and her writing was rushed and said 'possibly : Edward Lupin-Black'.   
"Alright maybe," Sirius stared at the parchment, not looking content with the name.  
"We have time to decide though," Remus said, watching Sirius' expression.

"Okay, now pick a girl name," Mary gestured to Lily, motioning for her to start writing again.  
"Our girl's definitely having Minerva as her middle name," Sirius said firmly, Remus nodding his head and telling Lily to write 'middle name for girl: Minerva'.  
"Oh Minnie's gonna be so touched," James whooped.  
"Star name, babe?" Remus asked, looking up at Sirius, who had taken to standing behind Remus' chair so that if he looked up, Sirius would be towering over him.  
"No," Sirius thought this over, "no, absolutely not."  
"We still have time to decide!" James reminded them. 

16th June 1980

There was a storm later. They could hear the rain clash against the house and the roof. The windows were dusty but they could faintly see through them and watched the rain fall at a furious pace.  
"I love rain," Marlene said, staring out the window, her eyes wearing their familiar expression of awe and admiration.  
"Rain Lupin-Black?" Sirius was pacing around the room, careful not to walk in front of the window and block Marlene's view of it, because she hexed him last time. He rubbed his bony wrists and every time someone said a word he could catch, he suggested it.  
"How would you spell it?" Lily had abandoned her parchment a few days ago in case she used up all the spaces on it. She waited for them to come up with a definite answer.  
"R a i-" Sirius was interrupted by Remus hurling a projectile at him.  
"Not like the actual rain," Remus said firmly.  
"With a face like his I can't say no, I guess," Sirius sighed.  
"Maybe R e i g n ?" Mary was laying across the table and looked peaceful.  
"Maybe," Remus looked exhausted and was massaging his ribs.

"Can we open the window?" Marlene started towards the window, almost as if she was in a trance.  
"Someone take this girl away from the bloody windows," Sirius watched her as she darted towards it. James seized her shoulder and led her away, shushing her every time she complained.  
"What do you guys wanna play today?"  
"Not Monopoly that's for sure," Lily cackled. The last time they played monopoly, everyone threatened murder upon everyone else.  
"That usually ends rubbishly," Remus lay besides Mary and chuckled. Sirius, getting jealous for no reason, lay right on top of Remus and kissed him.   
"You still blush after being married to him for almost a year?" James threw ornaments at them, embarrassing them even further.  
"Well I don't know how I got so lucky," Remus looked adoringly at Sirius, puppy dog eyes and all.  
"You got unlucky too, we married boys," Lily laughed, eating a bowl of crisps.  
"If that were true, you'd both be in jail," James playfully punched Lily's arm and then pressed his ear to her stomach.

"How long left of pregnancy?" Marlene asked, pressing her hand to Lily's cheek and then slapping it.  
"You guys out here abusing the pregnant woman," Lily grumbled, "but I've got at least two months left."  
"Can we just skip to the birth of our children?" Sirius groaned. It was apparently the wrong thing to say.  
"DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO??!"  
"Calm down Lils!" Sirius kept saying the wrong things and edged further away from Lily as she glowered, throwing anything in reach at him.   
"Come here Lilyyy," James said in his most softest voice, holding out his arms for Lily to embrace them. She did this, but threw rude hand gestures at Sirius whenever he looked at her.


	9. 1980: HJP & RMLB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Sirius' POV

30 July 1980

"I hope these children come out soon," Lily was constantly massaging her belly, "James Potter you bastard, I hate you!"  
"What did I do?"  
"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" she yelled. Everyone sighed and learned how to tune her out, "and you two!" she rounded on Sirius and Remus. Sirius rolled his eyes and then looked at her, "you two decided you wanted to impregnate me too!"  
"What time is it?" Remus straight up ignored her, and sat her down, reaching into his pocket for chocolate and giving it to her.  
"It's like 10pm," Marlene yawned, "I'm going to bed, good luck with that nutter."

"I wanna sleep too," Lily groaned, "James help me up, and go sleep in someone else's room."  
"Yes dear."  
"Bunk with us James," Sirius grinned, gently seizing his friend's left arm, as James grabbed the right. Remus led the way upstairs to James' room and made sure Lily was comfortable and shut her door before they sighed with relief and trudged over to their room. Sirius was trying not to think too much about anything.. except the children.  
"Siri, you alright?" Remus held his hand and looked down into his grey eyes.  
"Yeah I'm just nervous we won't be able to look after these kids."

"You're having one and we're having one," James said, reaching his temporary room and conjuring a bed, "I'm gonna stay in here for a while until Lily's had both babies."  
"Good call," Sirius chuckled.  
"We're just kids ourselves!" Remus said suddenly, wrestling with the bed covers, in attempt to wrap him and Sirius up warmly.  
"We're gonna be great," James said firmly, moving his bed next to them so that he was right next to Remus' side of the bed.

31 July 1980

Lily screamed.  
"LILY WHAT'S WRONG??" James yelled back at once, reaching for his glasses groggily. He couldn't see them, and it must have been about 5am, so there was light shining through, but it made it no easier for him to find them in a panic. Sirius saw them at the foot of his own bed and threw them at him. They jerked Remus awake and ran over to Lily's room. She didn't look as if she had been attacked but she was gazing at them in pain, "James hold my hand!" They both yelled in pain as Lily practically twisted James' hand off.  
"Lily stand up," Sirius suggested stupidly, but held up his hand for her to take in attempt to get out of the bed. There was water everywhere.  
"Her water's broke," Remus groaned, putting his hand to his head briefly before getting a load of sheets to put on the bed, so Lily could lay back down.  
"Isn't Marlene a Healer?" James gasped in pain, "go wake her!"  
"She's a Healer in progress - don't look at me like that, I'm going!" Sirius ran over to Marlene's room and lifted her out of bed, bridal styles. Mary followed closely after and they were both fully awake by the time they reached Lily and barked orders at them to all leave. Except Mary.  
"That's the birth of my child!" James said incredulously but he went downstairs with Sirius and Remus.

They made coffee in silence. Sirius hated coffee, but he needed all of the energy he could get. James was thinking the same thing and both of them sat down, hugging each other as they laughed at the idea of a mini Prongs crawling around. Remus sent his patronus with a message of warning to Professor McGonagall. If they wanted anyone to be present, it would be their dear teacher, Minnie.  
She arrived five minutes later, by fire. Sirius ran up to her and gave her a big hug, insisting that she sat down and had coffee.  
"God knows I need it, I was asleep!" she grumbled, but was grateful for the coffee.  
"Well, Minnie, we didn't want you to miss the birth of my child!" James laughed, "where do you live when it's the summer?"  
"In Hogsmeade, with my husband," she said half sternly. Sirius had always thought she had a bit of a gay energy about her but said nothing, smiling to himself.

Hours later, after they had had a long ass chat about adulthood, the war, having children and about baby names, Marlene ran downstairs yelling "ITS A BOY!"  
James stood up ever so quickly and ran upstairs. Minerva followed swiftly after, Remus and then Sirius.  
"Harry James Potter!!" James yelled. He was crying tears of joy and Lily looked exhausted and still pregnant. Marlene deduced she wasn't in labour again and would still be pregnant until her water broke for the second time.  
"Shave that baby's head and cut his foreskin," Minerva commanded at once. Everyone turned to look at her with a disgusted look on her face but Sirius thought it made sense.  
"It's to ensure he's pure, and let's just do it," Sirius said, nodding.  
"I'm sure your parents did that to you then?" James asked uncertainly.  
"Yes they did and don't worry, it doesn't make your dick any smaller, mine is still massive, right Remus?"  
"I mean, yes," Remus looked really flustered. Minerva shook her head and asked to hold the child.  
"I'll go do it shall I?" Minerva said after everyone had had a turn holding him.

When it was about 6pm, Harry had been shaven, washed and dried and now was cuddled by James who adored him and didn't want to let him out of his sight. Lily and James bickered over who was going to keep Harry in their room that night but Lily had won, only after James asked if they could take it in turns.

10 August 1980

Lily was restless again, as was the rest of them. Sirius had helped with mini Prongs ever since he was born and he loved him. Remus and Sirius had been named his godfather. Remus hadn't held Harry for more than one minute and always found excuses not to hold him.  
"What's your whole being terrified of holding Harry thing about?" Sirius confronted him that night, when everyone had milled upstairs.  
"He's fragile, and I'm a monster, I don't want to hurt him," Remus said with finality, looking frightened, "Sirius what are we gonna do when our child comes?? I'll be so terrified to hold them!!"  
"Calm down Remmy, you'll be a fantastic dad and you know it. Let me ask Lily if you can hold him for a while." They went up to her room and begrudgingly, she let him hold the baby for half an hour. Remus went downstairs with Harry, Sirius right behind him, acting as a support for all three of them, and Remus settled himself down on the rocking chair and rocked Harry gently back and forth. Harry giggled and stared at Remus, his big green eyes occupied by every little detail of Remus' face. Sirius was familiar with the fact that children tended to look at Remus and get frightened by the scars on his face. This usually made Remus downhearted but Harry didn't seem to mind. Remus started crying ever so subtly and then Harry did too. He mimicked every little expression Remus made and then Remus kissed him all over his face.

It was past midnight by the time Harry had fallen asleep, and then Sirius took Harry in his arms, and tread through the house, quietly and making minimal movements in order to not wake the baby up. Once he had settled down with Lily, Remus and Sirius started talking.  
"What if the child possesses my wolfishness and transforms into one every month? I can't let that happen to it, it's a baby!" Remus started to get a little panicked. Sirius smiled at him warmly and kissed his cheek.  
"They won't. I promise," Sirius took his hand and they walked to their room, making out. After about ten minutes, Sirius arched his back.

11 August 1980

Sirius woke up with his trousers on the floor and his shirt draped around his chest, but not properly on. Remus was completely naked, except he was wearing his pants and covering his legs up with the blanket, his arms limply hanging off the bed and his mouth wide open. He smiled. It was not often that Sirius woke up before his husband and that he was actually getting a well rested night so Sirius stared at him with admiration, tracing his chest and rocking back and forth in his bed. He decided it would be for the best that he got changed into some other clothes, instead of wearing his old ones.

Then he decided he would be better off showering before getting into fresh clothes, so he woke Remus up and asked if he wanted to shower with him. As always, he said yes. They wore bathrobes and took their laundry downstairs in a basket so that they could get it washed in the machine. Remus suggested they get in the shower and send the clothes down with Kreacher but Sirius reminded him that passing him clothes meant setting Kreacher free. However, he did bark orders at the house elf to prepare a massive breakfast.

After they had both showered, moisturised and changed, it was about 11am, and they were still the only people awake. James had decided to sleep in a different room the past few nights so that the couple had some privacy, and Merlin knows they needed it.

At around 12pm, everyone was awake and dressed, except Lily, who stayed in bed, eating food and writing down the things she wanted to do when she had given birth again. The first one on the list was to dress up in the sluttiest clothes any of the girls owned, and then to drink alcohol, and then to work out. Not that she needed to, and not that she probably was going to, but it was the thought that counts. It's always been the thought that counts.

Lily had gone into labour a few minutes after 1 o'clock and Marlene and Mary had taken to assisting Lily with giving birth again. Harry had been given to James, who gave the child to Minnie to look after whilst he made the coffee this time. Remus hyperventilated and Sirius smoked several joints.

When the baby was finally born, Sirius was the second to hold her, the first being Marlene. He stared at the child in his arms and began inspecting her.  
"It's a girl!" Mary breathed over his shoulder, and Sirius was the one to cry this time.  
"I'm an uncle!" James did jazz hands and threw his fists in the air, ecstatic at the fact. Minerva was still cuddling Harry and then set him down in Lily's arms whilst Marlene washed her hands. Sirius couldn't believe that there was a mini Padfoot/Moony on this earth and decided he would go to the ends of the earth to protect her and wouldn't let anything happen to her. Remus was eager to hold her next and kissed her forehead.  
"Hiya baby!" he gushed, talking in a babyish voice and being careful to support her head.

"What do the Blacks do to girls when they're born then?" Lily asked in an accusatory tone, sticking out her tongue.  
"Shave her head."  
"So you don't do anything weird to her private parts?" Mary looked relieved as Sirius shook his head, looking shocked and disgusted.  
"Absolutely not."  
"What are you naming her then?" Minerva asked, with a fond smile on her face as she took the child from Remus too.

"You love holding babies, huh?" James said.  
"Yes I do Potter."  
"I wanna hold her," Sirius stuck his arms out, flailing them at McGonagall until she finally handed her over.  
"Hiya Reign Minerva Lupin-Black," he cooed at the little human he held.  
"I love that name!" Remus hugged Sirius, and placed his head over Sirius' and his hands under Sirius' so that they were all holding each other.  
"Reign Minerva?" Minnie looked as though she was about to cry. James gave her a hug for the others because they were preoccupied but she appreciated it all the same.

Reign's hair turnedand James gasped, looking over at Lily, who knew what he was thinking.  
"Is she-" Remus spluttered.

"Do we get Andy? Nymphy's a Metamorphmagus, she might know," Sirius looked shook, and sat down as Reign proceeded to change her appearances, until she resembled her dad. She had brown hair, hazel eyes and a slight scar over her nose.  
"She-" Remus took her from Sirius' arms and crooned over her.  
"We should get them," Mary said, running downstairs to the fireplace, and disappearing in green flames as she yelled for the Tonks' house. She emerged ten minutes later with the family. Andromeda was holding Nymphadora's hand. She explained what Mary had told her and asked if she could give the baby to Nymphadora, the seven year old had her in her arms, and pronounced Reign as her doll for the millionth time in ten minutes. It had been adorable every time she had said it. Reign's hair changed to match Nymphadora's, which was a bubblegum pink.

"Can I play with my doll?" Nymphadora said, but Andromeda said they would need to get going but would drop by later. Her daughter begrudgingly nodded, and before she left, gave her uncle Sirius the biggest hug, and kissed Reign goodbye, "bye bye doll!" Reign's face lit up and she giggled.  
"They're adorable," Remus looked genuinely amazed by their limited interactions.  
"I love babies," Sirius wiped a tear from his eyes.

27 August 1980

As soon as Remus transformed back into a human, he was tended to by Madam Pomfrey and he apparated at the next chance he could to get back home and check up on Reign. She hadn't shown any sign of being a werewolf and hadn't transformed. Lily, Marlene and Mary had to babysit the babies every month, whilst the boys were transforming and keeping Moony in check.

"They're the cutest babies ever," Lily couldn't believe how beautiful they were and often cried about it more times in a day than anyone could keep up with.  
"When they're older they're definitely sharing a room," James said, poking at the babies' bellies. They often didn't make any sound when they weren't crying, but whenever their eyes and mouth perked up, it was to be understood that they were happy.  
"Oh my gosh, the plaque will read 'Harry and Reign' imagine how cute that'll be!" Marlene squealed. She picked Reign up as Harry was picked up by Mary, "I'm teaching Reign how to pick up girls by the way." Sirius and Remus chuckled.  
"If she turns out to be anything like her fathers, then she might be gay. She might not be. She could be bi. I don't know, she's adorable. She can be whoever she wants to be," Remus said fondly.

"Fatherhood treating you two well?" Lily asked, amused and elated that she was no longer pregnant.  
"For sure," Sirius grinned, "not being pregnant treating you well?"  
"Boy you don't know the half of it."


	10. 1980: Muggle World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Lily's POV

21 October 1980

"It's their first Halloween soon!" Lily gushed, holding Harry in her lap and nuzzling their noses together. He giggled and stared at Lily.   
"He's so cute," Remus had come down with an obvious and bad case of baby fever and had taken to isolating himself with Reign whenever he needed time to think. She usually made him feel better with her baby noises and giggling. He preferred having to look after her, than to look after himself. So the others had to look after him whilst he took care of Reign. Lily was the same. Harry made everyone feel safe and warm inside. Even though he was scarcely three months old, his aura made Lily happy. He made James happy. James often cried when looking after Harry because he made him feel so proud.

"Watch him be the best Quidditch player ever Lils," James said after he downed a carton of milk.  
"I hope not," Lily smiled, "I want him to be academic!"  
"He can be both," James looked so fond of Harry that Lily wanted to treasure that moment forever.

It was a good morning. Dumbledore said that they were allowed to leave the house if they wanted to, so everyone got ready. Like really ready. Sirius was awake at 6am and showering. He even moisturised and came downstairs in his bathrobe and enjoyed a cup of coffee before he asked Lily to put out some "appropriate muggle clothing because I want it to be perfect Evans". Remus was in the shower at 6:30am and had the sense to pick his own clothes, having grown up with a muggle mother. Marlene was a half-blood witch, and had damn good taste in clothing so she needed no help. James was so overexcited, got in the shower at 7am and Lily basically had to dress him because he couldn't be pried away from Harry.  
"Look after Harry for me please Marls, we'll be a minute, you can go shower after!" Mary went after Marlene and then Lily showered last. The babies hadn't got any proper clothes to wear, so Sirius bundled Reign and Harry with his baby clothes and cooed with both of them when they were being dressed.

They set off out of the house at around 9am, being careful not to be spotted by any passing muggles. They were exiting out of 12 Grimmauld Place, which didn't exist to muggles, of course, so they proceeded out of the house with caution. Lily was bouncing Harry up and down on her hip, firmly wrapping her arms around him. Sirius was holding Reign and having an unspoken staring competition with her. She won because she was just staring at him blankly, as if he was the most interesting thing in the world.

Sirius didn't stop to absorb the outside, Lily understood this to mean that the place had bought back bad memories for him. He walked to the end of the street and didn't stop until James had stopped right in front of him and blocked his path.  
"Move James," he murmured softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear him.  
"You're walking too fast!" James muttered, he wasn't smiling but he wasn't annoyed.  
"Because I don't want to stay in this street any longer than I have to."  
"You lunatic turn around," James grabbed his shoulders firmly, but eyeing Reign so any of her current support wouldn't waiver, and turned him around. Sirius rolled his eyes and couldn't be bothered to resist James' strength.

"We need to go to Diagon Alley to convert our money? I think?" Mary said, cutting the unmistakable tension between all of them.  
"It's about a 50 minute walk," Sirius said nonchalantly, slouching his shoulders but still keeping himself in a stable position for Reign. He dragged his feet across the floor as he stayed in the same spot, brushing his hair into his face so no one could read his expression. Lily knew that he had found out about the distance because of something to do with his mother.  
"How would you know that?" Marlene brushed the hair out of her face as the wind picked up and the clouds came out, covering the sun and bringing about a cold and breezy weather.  
"Mother threw me out once so I followed my feet and went wherever they took me. Within about 50 minutes, I was at the Leaky Cauldron. Then, after a few days, she came back and practically dragged me all the way home by my ear. I was 13," Sirius finished on a brighter note, as if they were done talking about this. Lily had never heard about this story, and usually Sirius told her everything to do with his mother, as Lily told him everything to do with her sister.

As they stood in silence, a car pulled up right besides them and the window rolled down. It was Mad-Eye Moody.  
"What the devil are all of you doing standing on the pavement like that? Constant vigilance! Come on, Potter, in the front seat. Evans, get in the middle with Black and Lupin. MacDonald and McKinnon, get in the back. Evans, keep hold of the baby boy you're holding, Black, do the same with the girl. Hurry up! Get in!" Mad-Eye barked orders of them and they all obeyed, hurrying into the car as rain started to pour.  
"The boy belong to the Potters and the girl to the Lupin-Blacks I take it? What are their names?" Moody immediately started driving the car as he heard the door slam.  
"Harry James Potter and Reign Minerva Lupin-Black," James grinned cockily from the front seat, his legs swung over the dashboard.   
"What's got you looking so arrogant, Potter?"  
"He's just happy that he finally married his teenage love and he's got a child with her," Remus said savagely, returning the middle finger gesture that James had turned around in his seat to give him.

"You lot headed to the Leaky Cauldron?"   
"Yeah, how did you know?" Lily said, sitting up straighter and turning her head in Mad-Eye's direction.  
"Dumbledore told me you would be getting out of the house today and I assumed you'd all be quite dumb and walk around in the street without protection and I was right, wasn't I?"  
"Moody, why do some people call you Mad-Eye?" Marlene asked timidly from the back. That was the first time Lily had heard Marlene sound too shy to even ask a question.  
"I got a knack for being able to see things from miles away. People tend to get uneasy looking me in the eye. I assume it's because it looks as though I can look through the window of your soul."  
Soon after, they arrived at Diagon Alley, and pooled in some amount of money altogether to get about £100 in muggle money. Everyone but Mary and Lily were fascinated by the money but they headed back towards the car quickly. Moody had already reiterated that he would be their chauffeur for the day, not letting them travel out of sight or mind. 

The first place they went to was a baby store. There were nappies, baby clothes, prams, dummies and everything needed to take care of babies. Sirius started looking around for girl clothes for Reign but ended up buying a load of blue and pink pyjamas, three piece clothing, a load of blankets and jumpers. Remus almost stepped in to stop him, but ended up joining in. And then James joined in. Lily decided to leave them to buy the clothes, whilst Lily, Marlene and Mary were looking around for anything BUT clothes.

"Our kids are gonna be the coolest," Sirius stared at all of the clothes he had in hand, and his smile was fond. He had stopped pacing next to Lily, who was looking at the food.  
"Harry's gonna be cooler," Lily punched his arm playfully and looked over at James who was currently asking the shop lady if there were any stag pyjamas.  
"Hell no, it's gonna be Reign. She's gonna be raised by two dads. She won't be anything, if not badass and cool."  
"Alright I can't argue with that. Where are the babies?" Lily realised Remus was strolling towards them, Mary and Marlene paying for the things that everyone else had picked up.  
"Mad-Eye's got them. He's surprisingly great with kids," Remus had kissed Sirius' forehead and took the clothes, tossing them over to James who passed them to Mary.  
"Did they have stag, dog and werewolf toys?" Sirius asked patiently.  
"Yeah they did, James is out of his mind right now, he's so ecstatic."  
"You've got a child for a husband Evans," Sirius smirked.  
"Gosh, don't say that loud!" 

When they had finished shopping and looking round, Moody told them they were allowed to go to a restaurant, and that he would look after the kids if they wanted.  
"No, come and eat with us!" James said firmly, resting his hands on the pram for two that they bought. Reign was wearing black clothes, a massive bow with an R on it, and was nuzzling against her new blanket. Harry was wearing blue pyjamas and kept crying for James.   
"My little troublemaker," James picked him up and cradled him.  
"We can put Harry and Reign in my old cot, is that okay?" Sirius asked, pulling a chair out from underneath the table and gestured for Remus to sit on it, and then pushed the pram next to him. Sirius sat on the right hand side of Remus, as the pram was on the left. Mary sat next to Sirius, Marlene, Moody, Lily and then James sat on the other side, with Harry closest to him once he had calmed down and was put back into his seat.

Dinner was alright. The pure bloods had never ordered from a muggle restaurant and it showed. Lily had to order for James and Remus for Sirius. Mary helped Moody order, but Marlene was fine on her own. The babies got some of their baby food and needed feeding, so James did it, and Sirius made Remus switch places so he could feed Reign.

On the way home, they thanked Moody for the rides and he said, "no problem you lot. Constant vigilance. I'm off to fight some Death Eaters."  
"Do you want help?" James asked at once, but he shook his head.  
"No, take care of Potter Jr."  
"Someone must come with you," Lily said fiercely, and Moody turned around to look at her, his concentration only half on the road.  
"It ain't gonna be one of you, you're kids and you've got kids."  
"We don't!" Mary whispered.  
"Your motto is 'stop wars, I'm scared' MacDonald, you're not going anywhere," Moody turned back to the road and sped up ever so slightly. Mary went ashen but she knew he was right, and said no more.  
"I'm coming with you," Remus said firmly, "come on, a werewolf like me, full moon's in two days."  
"Alright Lupin, you can be of help. Ahh, but if one of you comes, another one has to. I never let two people go into battle alone. It's a subdued victory if only one comes back alive. Black, you alright to come?"  
"Oi, I'm going," James took his feet off the dashboard and his expression was one of the most serious ones she'd ever seen. James had matured in all kinds of ways since school, marriage, and then fatherhood.  
"Yeah, I'll stay home with Reign," Sirius mumbled, "but Remus, if you die you bastard, I'll kill you."  
"Alright, Potter, Lupin, stay put in the car. The rest of you clear out. And remember-"  
"Constant vigilance," Sirius yelled, "we got it you lunatic." He scrambled out of the car, got the pram packed in the back (Reign wasn't in the pram, she was being held by Mary, carried several bags and ran into the house before Moody had the chance to curse him.

Lily carried Harry and some food back into the house after kissing James goodbye, and telling Remus to stay safe. She hurried into the house with the other girls and found Sirius pacing in the hallway. The pantry door was slightly askew and as Sirius made to reach for it, Reign started crying. Mary tried her best to calm down but she clamoured for Sirius, who picked her up and murmured into her ear, kissing her and walking over to the dining room, where the rocking chair rested. He sat down in it and immediately started swaying back and forth.  
"Bring the pram," Sirius ordered. Marlene quickly charmed it to fly into the room and right next to Sirius' feet. He put a nestling Reign into it and covered her with blankets.  
"Did we get more cigarettes?" Mary asked, bringing forth some alcohol from the pantry.  
"No-" Lily began, but got cut off by Marlene who brought some out from her pocket, throwing a cigarette to every adult in the room. Startled, Lily caught it, and lit it with her wand. 

"I'm worried," Sirius said, rolling the pram to the other side of the room so that Harry or Reign wouldn't get smoke in their faces as they slept.  
"They'll be fine. This is their first mission since we went into hiding and if it doesn't go well we're at liberty to ban them from going out ever again," Lily took a long drag of her cigarette and then put it out by stamping on it. Lily was terrified though. Secretly. To take her mind off it she asked Marlene and Mary how long they were going to stay.  
"Yeah Marls and Mary you know we love you darlings, but how long?" Sirius took some more of his cigarettes out, smoking them one after the other.  
"We want to stay a while longer, if that's okay? I want to finish my Healer training first and then move out and find some place. Mary's probably gonna go out to the city and try see if she can chat up some posh boy," Marlene marvelled, grinning as she nudged Mary.  
"Yeah! I'm going to Diagon Alley first though, I wanna marry into the wizarding world of course."  
"Sounds alright with me," Sirius looked as though he was struggling to keep his eyes open, "stay as long as you need loves."  
"Sirius sleep," Lily made her best attempt at sounding quite like Remus so that he would at least try to listen.  
"I need to wait for Remus," Sirius' voice quavered, he sounded quite anxious. Just then, Reign started to cry. He jumped up at once to pick her up and started rocking back and forth again, shushing her and trying to comfort her.  
"Is she hungry?" Lily said, lifting her shirt.  
"Yeah, I'll turn around," Sirius gave Reign to Lily, who breast fed her until she stopped fussing. After that, she settled nicely in Sirius' arms. Harry needed feeding so Lily began the process again. 

"You're missing daddy aren't you? Yes you are!" Sirius whispered sadly into his baby's ear, "daddy will be home soon." Just then, Reign grabbed onto his long hair and attempted to keep it in her tiny little fist. When it didn't, she trembled, so Sirius put his hair back in her hand and tried not to move.  
"Hiya Harry sweetheart," Lily talked to Harry who was looking right at Lily's eyes. They had the same eyes.  
"Wait, do you guys remember Snivellous?" Mary giggled, reaching her hands out to hold one of the babies. Lily was happy to let Aunt Mary hold her nephew.  
"Oh how could I forget? He was so in love with me," Lily started to make coffee so she could sit in a chair, stare blankly and take sips from it as she slept.  
"What is it about you Lils?" Sirius teased.  
"Oh I'm beautiful," Lily finished making her coffee and smiled broadly.  
"Yeah you are," Marlene was now laying on the table again, her arse in the air.

"Remember when he called you a mudblood?" Mary whispered. Only her and Lily could say it. I mean, it was an insult to them, so it was only right if they said it. And the others knew this.  
"He expected me to forgive him."  
"James was about ready to kill him, trust me. I was too. Remus as well. Peter convinced us to just play a major prank on him. They were probably pals on the down low," Sirius spat bitterly. They sat in a silence until Sirius asked Lily in no more than a whisper, "what would you do if anything happened to Harry?"  
"I'd kill everyone in the vicinity and then myself. You?"  
"I'd bend the heavens and earth until I got her back. And then I'd follow in your footsteps. She's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I never thought I'd be good enough to be a father or a husband or a best friend and I'm so grateful that I'm all of the above. I want to make sure Reign gets the best childhood she possibly can. Harry too. They're both my kids. They're yours, they're James', Remus', and even Mary's and Marlene's." They talked all night until Marlene and Mary gave up to their exhaustion. 

22 October 1980

At around 6am, a phoenix feather came flying out from nowhere, with a note saying "at St. Mungos. James and I are safe - it's Moody."  
"Floo?" Sirius asked hurriedly as he threw a jacket over himself, a jacket for Remus and for James. Lily grabbed a shawl and said, "oh please."  
"What about the babies?"  
"We're not taking them there!" Lily kicked Marlene and Mary awake. Both of them shot up at once and looked around to see who had woken them up, "look after Reign and Harry, we'll be back soon."

As soon as they got to Mungos, they were directed to Mad-Eye's ward. James and Remus were in shock and barely moving besides Moody's bed.  
"What happened?" Lily kissed James fully on the lips and sat on his lap.   
"We got into a fight, and a curse hit Moody's eye as he threw us out of harm's way," Remus mumbled bitterly, leaning his fist on his right thigh. Sirius took his fist off his thigh and kissed him. They hugged for a long while as Moody lay in the bed, eyes closed and resting somewhat peacefully.  
"He deserves like a proper mad eye as a replacement. Like, one made especially for him. A blue, electric eye that can move around in the socket in any direction, see through cloaks, see through everything," James said at last, mania in his eyes.  
"Who do we know that can make one like that?" Sirius frowned.  
"I don't know but we could really put the 'mad eye' in Mad-Eye Moody," James grin was contagious, and eventually everyone was laughing at the prospect of that eye.  
"God, he'd be even more scary than he already is," Lily tittered, "but he deserves it."

Dumbledore had arrived earlier and given Remus a phoenix feather to send to the others, Lily found out. They told their mad eye idea to Dumbledore, and surprisingly, he didn't disagree or find the idea far-fetched. He set out to find someone who could make an eye for him just like that. Remus had fallen asleep on Sirius' shoulder with his mouth hung wide open. Sirius rested his head on Remus' back so they were in what one could assume was an awkward position. James looked determined not to fall asleep but gave in soon after, his head lolling at the edge of the chair. Lily drew up another chair with her wand and tried to pry herself away from her husband without waking him up. Sirius was watching her intently and said, "it's 10am you know. You should sleep."  
"You're such an older brother Black," Lily settled herself on the chair and summoned a blanket.  
"It's Lupin-Black if you wouldn't mind," Sirius smirked, sticking his tongue out.  
"Alright LB."  
"Not gonna argue with that." Lily fell asleep with the thought that she had created such a cool nickname for Remus and Sirius.


	11. 1980: She'll Hate Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Remus' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:
> 
> some dark themes here - intrusive, su*cidal thoughts and attempts. there's also a lot of angst. be kind to urself !! <3
> 
> I can't stress it enough.. it may be graphic and upsetting. Really upsetting. Please don't read if you're not in the best position to. Please.

20 December 1980

"I'm a fucking monster Sirius, how don't you see that?" Remus paced around the room, anxiety ridden. He couldn't stop shaking. His breathing was rather ragged and he could hear Reign cooing in the next room, and Harry's soft snores as Aunt Mary and Marlene gave Lily, James, Sirius and Remus a few nights off from parenting. Reign usually made him feel better but the feelings, the overwhelming sensations and nothing but existential dread had filled him up so much that he could barely come to his senses. Nothing made sense, the world was spinning and there Sirius was with his perfect face, his perfect body and his perfect voice, trying to calm him down.

"You're not a monster Remus. You might turn into a werewolf once a month, but that is not your fault. None of this is. You didn't choose the life you were given, but you've tried to make the most of it, attempting to make others happy in order to try and feel that same happiness. It won't work if your heart's not in it," Sirius edged closer to Remus, almost in tears, "you know the man you truly are Remus. Your heart is where you truly live," he placed both of his hands on Remus' heart, "this heart here."  
"This flesh is only flesh," Remus remembered when Sirius had first told him that. It was the night of Moony's first transformation with his new friends, Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail. Sirius remained in human form until the last possible moment, pressing against Remus' chest with reassurances until he HAD to transform to avoid being hurt.  
"I'm nothing but a monster," Remus started to weep. He hated crying or expressing any sort of negative emotion, even after all those years he had been with the marauders. Sirius joined him though, crying into Remus' shoulders, as Remus cried down into his. All of a sudden, Sirius cupped Remus' face in his hands and kissed his lips.

"You're my Moony," he murmured, "that's never gonna change."  
"What if Reign sees me for what I am and grows to resent me? As we've grown to resent our parents?"  
"She wouldn't. She loves you already. And so do I. We're going to teach that girl to have the best possible morals she could ever have. She won't mind that you're a bisexual werewolf with a caffeine addiction. I promise."  
"And if she gets our mental health issues?"  
"I've thought about that a lot, trust me. It's all I think about at night. But she'll be fine. And if she's not, we will know what she's going through and we can just try and be there for her in every way we can be."

21 December 1980

"Ready?" James called from the other end of the table, in the kitchen area. Remus had been drinking cups of coffee after cups of coffee for a few hours now. He was now very alert and ready to jump off a cliff.  
"Let's floo into Minnie's office for old times' sakes," Sirius was looking concerned about Remus, and had undoubtedly confided in James about this matter, but he acted as though everything was alright.

So they floo'd.  
"Oh you foolish boys, back again?" Minerva had spilt ink all over the paper she was marking but with a wave of her hand, managed to make it disappear.  
"Yeah!" Remus tried for his best smile and most sincere voice but could not manage it.  
"Do you need me to walk you down?" she offered.  
"I'm alright, thanks, just please have Madame Pomfrey come for me about an hour after sun has risen?" Remus felt bad for speaking this way, but his old professor understood, nodding her head.  
"Of course."

The boys sprinted out towards to Shrieking Shack, trying not to be seen by anyone walking around by the castle grounds and hid in the tunnels. Remus was nervous, he was tired and he was angry.

When the moon had risen, his transformation had been less painful than it had been the first time, seeing as it had been about 15 years since he had started having them. He was Moony again. Padfoot and Prongs were here! They wrestled each other in the shack until Moony broke out of it, desperate to howl at the moon. Prongs hadn't been strong enough to keep him out, but no matter. They hurried towards the Forbidden Forest and played around with the other animals. But Moony became sad and started whimpering. He missed Wormtail. Soon enough, he had been cheered up by his two familiar animal friends and let them lead him back to the Shack, as the moon was setting.

22 December 1980

"You poor boy," Madam Pomfrey had still been so unaware of James and Sirius becoming animagi, and merely thought they had only come with him once a month to comfort him when he woke up in the morning, "but, you have great friends."  
James had always been arrogant, that was true. But the one thing he would not boast about was his unwavering loyalty and vow to protect Remus and Sirius for all of eternity, so he grimaced and stayed quiet as he sat on the chair next to Remus' hospital bed.  
"I miss Reign," Remus whimpered, he had never felt so far away from his daughter, from his husband or his best friends, "I miss all of you."  
"I'm here, Remus," James told him firmly, grabbing onto his bedsheets in attempt to be closer to Remus, "I've been here since the start and I'll be here till the very end."  
But James didn't get it, Remus thought sadly, no one does. No one sees what a godawful monster I am. I should just go away and save them the pain and misery.

They had gone home later that day. Remus' thoughts had stayed with him throughout everything he did: looking after Reign, talking to Sirius, to James, to Lily, to everyone else. He could barely eat that day, but no one had noticed because they were doing their own thing. He wanted and needed to be alone, but that opportunity hadn't arisen until around 12am. He snuck out of bed to excuse himself to the bathroom where he could ponder over his thoughts without bothering anyone.

Remus sat on the floor of the bathroom, with his back against the door and cried as silently as he could. He performed several silencing charms so that no one could hear him from outside the bathroom. Usually, when he felt less than good enough, he would find a way to power through it, understanding that his mind was his very worst enemy and he shouldn't be listening to it, shouldn't be listening to all of the thoughts that ran rampage whilst he had to remain calm and collected when he was around people. It killed him so very slowly. But he couldn't take it today. He kept whispering between sobs "I'm not okay.. I'm not a good enough person... I'm gonna ruin everything good I have.. maybe I just shouldn't be here after all.."

He couldn't calm himself down, and he came to realise that maybe he didn't want to. Maybe he should just go away. But they wouldn't let him leave without a fight. Maybe he could find another way...  
He thought of one almost straight away. He had begun shaking almost half an hour ago but didn't realise until he crawled all over the bathroom to search for the sharpest thing he could find. Alas, he found a knife. It was a bit blunt, and dirty. So he cleaned it, naturally, and tried sharpening it against some wood. When he realised that this wouldn't work, he heaved himself into the bathtub, took off his clothes and began slicing at every bit of skin he could find, trying to inflict the deepest of wounds. He hadn't recovered from the full moon properly, so this had drained so much of his energy out of him, and he was soon bleeding pretty heavily in the bathtub.

"Remus?" Sirius called from outside, "Remus are you in there?" Remus tried croaking back that he was busy, but had felt too weak to even get his mouth to move. He also realised there were heavy spells on that door which would make him unheard, and the door hard to open. After five minutes, his arms, legs and neck were extremely scarlet and drenched in his own blood and he began to cry again. He could feel the life being drained out of him. He was drowsy, and only faintly heard Sirius yell "Bombarda!" in attempt to get to his husband. Sirius noticed Remus in the tub and gasped. "Remus John-" He ran back out of the room and screamed for help, the utmost panic in his voice. Lily and James came hurrying out of their room, even though the babies were beginning to cry.  
"Babies it's okay, shh," James was trying to shush them as the footsteps outside the bathroom were becoming increasingly loud.

"What's wrong Pads?" Lily called back, knowing that if it wasn't dire, Sirius wouldn't have woken them up at 2am.  
"It's Moony, someone get St Mungos or something please," he cried. Remus felt in even more pain hearing two of his favourite people in the world panic. James ran into the bathroom and gasped.  
"Moony you didn't," he sounded as though he was trembling. Sirius tried to heave Remus out of the bathtub but couldn't do it, crying all over Remus' hair, covered in his blood, knowing that if he didn't make it, he wouldn't forgive himself. Remus' eyes began to droop as James ran downstairs to the fireplace and yelled into the fire, asking for Healers to come over and help his best friend. Remus' body was on fire, he couldn't breathe and he was almost ready to give up. Sirius wrenched him back to life and screamed.  
"Moony don't you dare close your eyes," Sirius was holding Remus' body and shaking, moving back and forth as he tried to apply pressure on his wounds with the nearest, cleanest and biggest piece of clothing he could find, "Remu don't do this to me." Remus tried to scream, he tried to respond, but he had lost so much blood already, it was all over the floor. He tried to keep his eyes open for as long as he could. But then he blanked out.  


24 December 1980

Remus had woken up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon that day. Sirius was sitting on the foot of Remus' hospital bed, looking sleep deprived and thoroughly depressed. James and Lily were there too, holding the babies. Mary and Marlene were at home, presumably pacing around the house, worried out of their minds.  
"Remus John Lupin-Black," Sirius had started crying again, "how fucking dare you?" Remus still couldn't speak, he could feel the scratch marks around his throat and tried to lift his hand, but saw that there were bandages all around them. He started to level his breathing and tried to converse with Sirius using his eyes. It never worked when he attempted it, so he gave himself a few minutes.  
"I'm sorry," he croaked at last.  
"Oh you're sorry?" James looked half mad, half exhausted.  
"Remus please don't ever do something like this ever again," Lily's green eyes shone with fear and worry.  
"I don't remember what happened," Remus admitted, truthfully.

"I'll tell you," Sirius' voice had cracked and he was having to take breaks every time he said something, "you were off all day, and then went to bed as if everything was normal, but went out of bed as soon as you were sure I was asleep. But I woke up to find you were out of bed. So I searched the house, not knowing where the hell you were, saw the bathroom door was shut so I reckoned you were in there doing I don't fucking know what. I then bombarded the door open and saw you bleeding out in the bathtub and screamed bloody murder." At this, Sirius choked up, and James got up to hug him. Remus' heart shattered once more. He didn't think he would've made it so far. He remembered why he did it but everything after he picked up the knife he had used on himself was a blank.  
"Then we woke up, and the babies were crying. We got to them a few minutes after though, we were concentrating on you first. We got some Healers to take you to St Mungos because we were out of our minds with worry," Lily continued, trembling. Remus didn't know what to think.

"I'm so sorry," Remus choked up.  
"I've been sitting here, in the same spot ever since you got here," Sirius indicated to where he was sitting and then stared into Remus' eyes, "I'm just so glad you're not dead."  
"What happened? You must surely remember why you did it," James said, with notes of pain in his voice.  
"I'm a monster, I'm not a good enough husband, father, best friend, person, werewolf, I'm better off dead, I shouldn't be allowed to have the blessed things I do," Remus gasped, trying to intake oxygen but it had almost become possible. Sirius had begun doing one of his breathing exercises with Remus, putting Remus' hand gently on Sirius' heart to feel his heartbeat and attempt to match his breathing.  
"I've told you a thousand times and I'll tell you an infinity amount more," Sirius said firmly, putting his free hand on Remus' face to position him in such a way that Remus would have to look him in the eye, "you're not a monster. You're a good enough fucking person. Reign will grow up to adore you. She will love you no matter what. She's gonna know her daddies are the bravest, she's gonna know that Dad has fought through his battles, helping Pad with his, helping Uncle Prongs, helping Aunts Lily, Marls and Mary with theirs. She's gonna get mad at you for thinking the worst of you, and she's gonna be like you, like me, like all of us," Sirius stood up for the first time since Remus arrived at the hospital, and went over to pick up Reign and put her on Remus' legs gently, supporting her and making sure she didn't fall, "she's gonna kick some ass if anyone says anything about you or about me. She's gonna say 'oh you wanna say shit about my dads?' and she's gonna get detention and a temporary suspension for attempted murder. If someone talks shit about any of us and she doesn't retaliate, then I have failed as a dad."  
"We love you, you fucking dork," James said, "and for the record, you fold your socks, wear fluffy sweaters, listen to all of us complain about everything, read your books and attempt to help everyone with their shit, so forgive us if we don't tremble at the sight of you. Don't you ever do something like this again."  
"I'll try," Remus tried for a smile, knowing his friends truly cared.  
"You've done beautifully," Lily said, cradling Harry, "let us take care of you now."

25 December 1980

Remus had moved into Mad-Eye's ward, by special request of Sirius, and they spent Christmas with Mad-Eye, who was obviously still in recovery. Once he heard of what Remus had done, he said softly, "we all have our internal battles kid, but we're strong enough to win them. It's alright. You'll get there. You've got a family who cares, and that's all that matters." Moody had gotten his new electric eye and was now trying to adjust with it. He was almost shot of the hospital, but decided to linger for a day or two, just so that they would have a Christmas together.

Remus' cuts could be healed within a few hours, and they had been whilst he was sleeping. They kept the bandages on as a necessary precaution and made him drink several potions, in order to regain all the blood he had lost. He was to stay in the hospital for one more day, but he could move around more freely and had been able to take care of Reign a bit. She had placed her hand on Remus' face, on his plasters, and on his arms, trying to trace his scars, and Remus cried. Really hard.

"What's wrong??" Sirius said alarmingly, trying to quash anything that made Remus or Reign upset.  
"She traced my scars."  
"See! She loves you!"  
"Too early to tell," Remus joked, but then took Sirius' hand, simultaneously holding Reign too, and said, "I'm so sorry for putting you through this." Remus embraced Sirius, placing Reign into his lap and he could feel Sirius' jaw extend and quickly shut back again as Sirius tried to repress a yawn.  
"It's okay my love, you've been through it with me a few times, I haven't forgotten. Thank you."  
"You're my husband, baby, it's my job. And I'm glad."  
"I love you," Sirius' eyes looked tired, worried, but he was trying so hard to be brave, for Remus.  
"Come in here," Remus took the duvet off of him and tried to shove Sirius under the sheets with him, "sleep."

They napped for several hours, Reign too. When they woke up, they saw Mad-Eye, James and Lily waiting for them, the biggest smiles on their faces.  
"You're cleared to go home! But bed rest,, it's what the doctor ordered," Lily outstretched her arm for Reign, so she could sit in the double pram with Harry. Both of them cooed at each other and looked profusely happy to be near each other again, giggling every so often.  
"I don't know why they do that," James said thoughtfully, watching the babies look at the adults and giggle repeatedly.  
"I have a theory," Mad-Eye began, raising his working eye at the babies, "I feel like they have some sort of a connection with each other where they can read each other's physical and emotional pain and if they want to send messages to each other, all they have to do is concentrate ever so hard on trying to talk to each other." Remus considered the three pieces of information presented to him: he felt alive for the first time since Reign was born, he was cleared to go home, and the children had some sort of telephathic connection.

Sorry but what the ever loving fuck is a doctor?" Sirius said after a while, grinning and holding onto Remus' hands and kissing them.  
"Muggle Healer!" Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes, smiling slightly.  
They were allowed to leave once Remus had packed all of his belongings up and promised to allow the others to take care of him, and when they got to Grimmauld Place, Mary and Marlene were sitting in armchairs by the fire in the room with the family tree engrossed in it. They looked delirious and as if they hadn't slept in a few days.  
"Remus!" Mary hollered, running up to him for a hug as she noticed he was back but then realised he had a walking stick with him, "why do you have a cane?"  
"Because-" Sirius smiled and was about to make one of the dirtiest jokes Remus had ever thought of but was cut off by Mad-Eye.  
"The boy's a solider," he growled, "see you around, you six. You're all so young, don't grow old for the lives of you." He turned around and marched out of the house, via the fireplace.  
"I tried to claw my heart out, and it was by using a Dark spell, I won't elaborate, but because of that, it's extremely hard to walk around without support for a while," Remus sighed and heaved himself into another armchair, summoning cigarettes with his wands non verbally.  
"You're thinking of smoking? At a time like this?" Marlene had not yet risen from her chair and stared at Remus in confusion, her eyes sunken in and her face as pale as the snow that Remus had only just noticed was falling.  


Remus had stopped listening to the conversation hours ago, and his mind had disassociated so far from his body that he was having trouble trying to remember exactly where he came from, without seeming like he was crazy. He could hear slivers of it though, like James' low and quiet voice whispering, "hey Lils, should we go and see your sister and her husband to try and make it up to them?" and Lily's response which was, "no, she's had her chance." And then he heard of Marlene's and Mary's conversation which was about what they were going to do now that the war was officially over. Sirius joined into their conversations and then turned on the music player and started dancing to try and get Remus' attention. It was hilarious. He had never seen the pretentious, fairy princess, rebel rebel Sirius Black dance like that. He had been taught how to dance from a young age, this was common knowledge, but that night felt like the perfect ending to his shitty few days. Sirius looked happy and a certain weight had been lifted off his shoulders.


	12. 1981: First Words & Quidditch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- James' POV  
> \- bit of a long chapter tbh  
> \- Harry's and Reign's first words are each other! What a surprise (!)

28 April 1981

"When do you think Harry's going to say his first word?" James called over to Lily. James had been talking to Harry at every chance he got, in order to try and increase the possibility that Harry would start talking back.  
"Give it a few months!" Lily rolled her eyes, but James just smirked.  
"Harry, can you say dada? Mama?" James whispered into Harry's ear, but Harry just giggled, grabbing onto James' hair and tugging in it. James grimaced in pain and tried to loosen his grip but it only made his son grasp on it tighter, "Harry, don't grab dada's hair!"  
"I think it's cute he yanks on your hair," Lily marvelled, striding over to James and pulling Harry off him, with a big smile on her face.  
"Oh yeah, adorable," James rubbed on his head, "pulling out my beautiful hair."

"The babies are at such a stage where they keep tugging onto our hair, and I won't pretend I'm pleased," Sirius groaned, grabbing a cup and pouring whiskey into it, downing it in one.  
"She usually tugs on my hair Sirius!" Remus tried to look mad as Reign held onto Remus' hair, looking innocently into Remus' eyes and cooing, but James knew Remus was melting inside.  
"I'm talking about Harry," Sirius turned to face James, "you know when Reign started crying in her cot last night?"  
"Yes, it set Harry off too, both of them were giggling into the night," James ruffled his hair, attempting to catch Lily's eye.  
"You already have me, Potter, stop trying to mess up your hair even more."  
"Anyway, what happened?" James asked innocently.  
"I used silencio to make her quieter, but Remus woke up and said 'has she stopped crying already?' and then he realised she was screaming soundlessly and kicked me out of the bed! I had to sleep on the sofa in the drawing room!"  
"Aha, I would do that but I know for a fact that Lily would murder the absolute shit out of me," he stared at her lovingly, "it's the fact that she can easily beat me up.." he trailed off, gazing into the distance, his legs bouncing up and down to make Harry giggle.

"Prongs!" Remus bellowed in his ear, "Harry!" Harry had climbed down James' leg and started to crawl, knocking things over and clapping his hands. Reign had tried to break free of Remus' smothering but she had failed. Remus sighed, thrust Reign into James' arms and set off after Harry.  
"Hello Reign! Can you say Prongs?" James cradled her back and forth, determined to make one of their first words anything James-related.  
"Hello?" Sirius made to seize Reign but James shook his head, "hey give my baby back!"  
"She's going to say prongs first, aren't you Reigny?"  
"She's gonna say dada first, or paddy!" Sirius' brows furrowed, "either she will, or Harry might!"  
"Oh get over yourselves, she'll say Moony first, and Harry will say mama!" Lily dumped a load of clothes on the dining table and sighed, "your clothes all reek."

"Kreacher!" Sirius called after a while. Kreacher appeared right in front of him, bowing so low that he looked as though one push would topple him over.  
"Yes Master Sirius?"  
"Go get me some more whiskey, please," Sirius had taken to being nicer to Kreacher, knowing that his unkindness would earn him nothing but disrespect, and after coming to terms with this, made an effort to try and soften his manners.  
"Of course," Kreacher's mumbling about his master and his family had only decreased marginally. He would say things like "master fraternises with the wrong sort.. marrying a half-blooded werewolf, having a blood traitor best friend who has a mudblood wife." which usually caused Sirius to lash out and send him to his room, which was really just the boiler room. After Kreacher had satisfied Sirius with the amount of alcohol he had brought for him, Sirius kindly asked him to clean the rooms and make sure they weren't dusty.

11 June 1981

James had grown restless trying to get the two babies to talk. They had come quiet close to talking, much to James' delight, but when they failed to utter a single word, he got a bit exasperated. Sirius had begun to try and get them to talk, as James had been doing for several months now, but James knew Sirius' priority was making sure Remus was happy. Sirius' well being had become one of Remus' priorities. Both of them had talked out their mental health many times, making sure that they never went to bed without getting everything off their chests. James thought this wise, and tried to do the same thing for Lily. He attempted to let her know that James was there for her, but it never worked because Lily already knew. She confided in him about her worries as a mother, to which James softly chuckled and kissed her on the lips, before reassuring her that she needn't worry, and that she was doing an admirable job already. 

"It's their birthdays soon!" James had grown quite fond of the babies' milestones, and kept track of them. Reign had started crawling in February, Harry in March. Reign's half birthday was 11 February, Harry's was 31 January.  
"I'm getting emotional, Prongs, stop it," Sirius pretended to cry, "I'm sorry, it's just the fact that they're growing up so quickly!"  
"Are you done with being melodramatic?" Remus smirked, shutting him up before he could even respond with a kiss.  
"Stop snogging in front of the little ones!" James covered Harry's and Reign's eyes but Reign grabbed hold of James' pinky finger and was making an obvious attempt to lower it.

"She grabbed my pinky!" James was still crying over it hours later. Sirius rolled his eyes and stated she had done this to Remus and Sirius before and that James needed to shut up.  
"When do you think they'll speak?" Remus grabbed his coffee mug and chugged what was left inside it, "What do you think their first words will be?"  
"Enough coffee!" Sirius grabbed the cup, and then stood up to pick Reign up and nuzzle their noses together, kissing her on the forehead and making baby noises with her. This made Reign happy and she wasted no time trying to prove just how joyed she was by her Paddy.  
"I think Harry's first word will be Reign, and Reign's will be Harry," Lily stated simply, watching Harry crawl all around the place.  
"10 galleons says you're wrong Evans," Sirius wavered the bet, confident that he would win. Lily, also expecting she would win, took the bet. They shook hands just as Harry stopped crawling.

"Harry, can you say Reign?" Remus crouched right besides Harry and picked him up. Remus' Welsh accent had become more prominent, the r's in Harry and Reign had been said with a trill in his voice. It often made Remus insecure but everyone loved it. Harry looked up at Remus, grabbing the tuft of hair that drooped onto Remus' forehead.  
"Do you think he'll talk?" James said anxiously, biting his nails and ripping the skin off his lips.  
"He will!" Sirius reassured James, grabbing his hands away so that he couldn't harm his lips or nails. Reign had started crying, evident that she wanted to be picked up. Lily scooped her off the floor and cuddled her.  
"Say Harry, Reign," Lily said in her most soothing voice, making baby noises too, copying Reign's.

They tried to make them talk for quite a while, before giving up and watching them absentmindedly as they discussed Marlene's and Mary's departure.  
"I can't believe Marlene just left," Lily said darkly. James knew all too well that Marlene hadn't just left - but Lily was often so upset at her leaving.  
"She didn't just leave," Sirius said, sipping his whiskey, "she needed to go and complete her Healer training, like she said she needed to. Mary also only left because she needed to move on and make a life for herself."  
"Sucks though," Remus said, his eyes unfocused as he stared at Reign's direction.  
"Reign!" Harry yelled suddenly, stopping in his tracks and then proceeded to shuffle in Reign's direction. Remus jumped up, Lily's eyes widened, Sirius spat out his whiskey and James just hollered.  
"WHATDIDHESAYYY?" James was in utter shock. They all circled the babies and prompted Harry to say it again.  
"Reign Reign Reign!" Harry looked around at the adults and shuffled on his bottom over to James, "pongs!" he declared, tugging onto James' hair yet again. James hadn't noticed though, and had begun to sob tears of happiness.  
"HE SAID PONGS!" James wailed, Lily hurried to comfort him, her hair flailing everywhere. Sirius looked teary eyed, and picked up his own kid. Remus hugged his husband and child. They had all become increasingly emotional, and this only worsened when Reign had uttered her first word later that day.

"Harry!" Reign crawled over to Harry and both of them started repeating each other's names.  
"My little Reign Minerva!" he murmured, looking as though he was repressing his tears, "hey, say padfoot or moony!" Reign squirmed in his arms and was content to just stare into the eyes of whoever was holding her. Lily reminded Sirius that he owed her 10 galleons, and he summoned Kreacher to go fetch him 10 galleons, with fake loathing aimed towards Lily as she arrogantly accepted the money. 

31 July 1981

James had been decorating the house for weeks to prepare everyone for Harry's first birthday. It would've driven everyone mad if they hadn't found it extremely sweet. He stuck photos of Harry everywhere, some included photos of him and Reign, him with James and Lily or him with his godfathers. James wanted to throw a whole party for it, inviting Marlene, Mary, Minnie, the Tonks', the Weasleys and Dumbledore would, no doubt, show up with or without an invitation. Lily thought this was a good idea, but said it would be best to leave it to Reign's birthday, to celebrate them together.

They couldn't get rid of the portraits that snidely judged them or called out insults in regards to blood status or appearance, but they just stuck photos on top of them, or bought curtains that would shield them from view.

James stayed up until midnight to wish Harry a happy birthday. He was too young to know it was his birthday, and was resting comfortably in his cot, but stirred when James kissed his forehead. James slowly backed away from his son, being careful not to wake him up, but gathered all of the presents that was close to James and Lily's bed to settle them down by Harry's cot, and with a smile on his face, went to sleep, knowing that Harry wouldn't be able to open them by himself but that James had started a tradition that would hopefully remain intact for the rest of his life; he hoped that Harry would wake up on his birthday, or Christmas, Easter or Halloween with a stack of presents by his bed, so that he would feel happy and loved on these joyous occasions, even if his family weren't there for him on those days.

As he drifted off to sleep, he held hopes that Harry would always have Reign with him in the times that mattered. James and Lily couldn't be there for Harry all the time, and Reign probably couldn't either. But what mattered was that Reign would most definitely try to - if she was anything like her fathers, she would ensure that Harry was always the happiest he could be. With these thoughts, James unknowingly smirked, with his arms wrapped around Lily as he fell asleep.

"IT'S PRONGSLETTE'S BIRTHDAY, WAKE YOUR ASS UP!" Sirius roared, charging into their room, looking as though he had been awake for hours, and demanded that they woke up immediately. Remus followed after, looking slightly embarrassed by what had happened but also seeming to find it hilarious at the same time.  
"You moved our presents!" he pointed out, putting both of his hands on either side of his head, a massive grin on his face.  
"Had to!"  
"He's making a new tradition. He wants Harry to wake up at every important holiday with a stack of presents by his bed," Lily had not yet wrestled free of James' grip, and was not making any attempts to either.  
"How'd you know?" James asked, with hints of sharpness in his voice. But Lily just kissed him and murmured that he slept talked.

Sirius clapped his hands together, startling them and said, "it's about time Prongslette opened these presents, then, huh?"  
"Prongslette?" James laughed.  
"It's this new nickname he came up with last night. He found it shockingly hilarious and barked-laughed his way to sleep," Remus stated. He then, took some chocolate out of his pocket and broke a slab of it off and almost fed it to Harry, before Lily warned him that they should probably melt it a little, because Harry wasn't used to solid foods yet.

They had begun opening Harry's presents. Marlene sent Harry an empty photo album, with a note enclosed that said that any photos that Harry might grow to treasure should be put in there. Mary sent some baby clothes for him, with 'HJP' embossed on them. Hagrid, who hadn't even met him yet, sent a mini moleskin overcoat, which everyone could only assume was a smaller version of his own coat, and they had appreciated it all the same, sending him a note of thanks quickly after. The note also included their late invitation to him about the babies' party, saying that they hoped he would be able to make it. Sirius was really giddy and eager for them to open the present from him and Remus, so they got round to opening it next.

Harry's presents from his uncles had, by far, been his favourite. He clapped his pudgy little hands together and shouted with obvious delight once he had seen that he had received a toy broomstick. Whilst Lily was confused as to how he knew what they were, James cried that he must be a born Quidditch player.  
"Whatever, let's just open Petunia's present - probably some kind of poison," Lily grumbled, rolling her eyes, and unwrapping the present that had been signed by her sister. It was much worse than poison. It was an ugly vase with flowers decorated on it, with ink that had obviously run down it and dried.  
"I would've been fine with poison," James laughed, but Lily didn't look amused.  
"Same, actually," Lily said seriously, "I hate her!"

"Don't let her ruin this day, Lily," Remus sighed, passing another present for her to open. Professor McGonagall had sent this one - it was a thinly wrapped present, almost paper-like. Inside it was the Marauder's Map. They hadn't seen this for a few years. It had been confiscated from them in their final year by Filch.  
"Minnie got it back!" James gasped, grabbing at the note that was tucked neatly behind the map.  
"Prongsie boy, can you not read?" Sirius rapped his knuckles against James' back, urging him to read Minerva's letter.  
"Happy birthday Harry," James read, in attempt to sound a lot like their old professor. Lily's grimace told him it didn't work.  
"It says more than that you twerp," Remus yawned.  
"Fine! It says 'Happy birthday Harry. Since you can't read or speak properly yet, I thought it fit to return the map to its rightful owners. It's an extraordinary piece of magic, I must confess. I'm not surprised you boys have the ability to do something like this: you four were always too clever for your own good, even if you didn't apply your brain's full potential to your schoolwork. Imagine that! Outstandings in all your O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts! Anyway, back to Harry. This map is for your time at school, doing Merlin only knows what. You might need it to defeat You-Know-Who for good, or you might just want to sneak out of bed after hours. It's yours now, enjoy.'"

"That is why I have intense mother issues with that woman," Sirius said, as he wiped a tear from his eye and looked over to Harry, "Reign and Harry are sharing that map by the way."  
"Wouldn't have it any other way Pads," James grinned, "what other presents are there?"  
"Dumbledore returned the invisibility cloak, and the Weasleys sent him a jumper with a 'H' on it! How sweet!" Lily wondered out loud.  
"I can't wait to see everyone later," Remus picked Harry up and then the toy broom, "dare he fly on it so soon?"  
"What if he falls over?" Lily gasped.  
"There are four adults here, I'm sure we'd be able to look after baby Harry if he fell over," Sirius chortled, "Let me pick up Reign though." Sirius proceeded to repeat the words 'paddy' 'pads' 'padfoot' 'moony 'moonbeam' in her ear whilst everyone cleared the room away and packed most things to the side, but leaving the vase in the middle of the floor. James couldn't care less what happened to the vase and it was obvious that its fate concerned no one.  


Harry was a natural at flying, even Lily couldn't deny it. As soon as they had stabilised him to his toy broom, and ensured that his fists wouldn't lose grip with it, they watched him as he whizzed around the room, laughing gleefully as he watched his parents swerve out of his way. James found this extremely hilarious and insisted on summoning a camera with his wand and filming everything that happened. To Lily's delight, the vase had been smashed, and to Sirius' horror, he almost dropped Reign as Harry bumped into his leg and shocked him. Harry giggled, to which James called him his little troublemaker. Everything Harry did that day had been nothing short of perfection.

11 August 1981

Pictures of Harry had been replaced with pictures with Reign. They had been put in Harry's new photo album, which brought tears to Lily's eyes every time she spent hours decorating the book and feeling at peace after she had finished. When James woke up on Reign's birthday, he felt excited. Reign wasn't his kid, she wasn't Lily's. But they were in love with her, just like her dads were in love with Harry. The two children belonged to the four of them, and even they knew it.

"IT'S MY BABY'S BIRTHDAY, POTTERS GET IN HERE!" Sirius hollered as loudly as he did on Harry's birthday. He appeared at their doorway, and non verbally cast the levicorpus spell, which sent James hanging in the air by his ankles and he immediately demanded Sirius to let him down, his cheeks going red as all the blood rushed to his brain. As much as he found this funny, he was desperate for the loo and could not afford to wet himself.

Once James had been let down and excused to the bathroom, they got to opening Reign's presents. Minnie had sent her a beanie, with 'Minerva' written at the top. The beanie in question was old and ragged. It was ruby red, and the name was sewed on with golden thread. They didn't need a note of explanation for this, and Minerva didn't seem to think so either.  
"It's beautiful!" Sirius choked, seizing his daughter from Remus' arms and putting the hat on her. It covered her eyes but they all found this adorable.  
"Oh, Marlene sent another photo album!" Remus said, as he rifled through one stack of presents, "Mary sent some cute little clothes with 'RMLB' embossed on them."  
"Can we address the fact that Hagrid sent a box?" James picked it up, and examined the pink wrappings and how delicately put together it was. He gestured to Sirius and raised his eyebrows, as if trying to ask if he had permission to open it, and Sirius nodded. It was a polaroid camera. The note that was enclosed stated it had unlimited film and Hagrid found it important for her to have it. It was a simple black camera, nothing too elaborate about it, but Remus and Sirius were very touched by it.

"The Weasleys sent an 'R' jumper, no doubt?" Lily grinned, folding the clothes Mary had sent in a badly wrapped package.  
"Yeah," James said as he opened it, returning her grin.  
"Aren't they expecting soon?" Sirius said, looking around the room, as though he was expecting someone.  
"Yeah..." Remus trailed off as he noticed an owl swoop into the room. They all jumped as it dropped the letter, fluttered its wings and flew back out.  
"Open our present!" James urged, thrusting a rectangular package at them. Sirius opened it as Lily read the note. She read it to herself first, and Sirius had examined the parcel to himself, before yelling out at the same time.

"THE TALES OF BEEDLE THE BARD!" Sirius yelled, shoving the book under Remus' nose.  
"Molly's in labour!" Lily shouted over him. Her news created more of an atmosphere, and everyone screamed. Later, when they relived this memory, they had no idea why they did that.  
"What do we do?" James stood up at once, summoning all of the presents and sending them to be stacked in Remus' and Sirius' room so they could be revisited later.  
"Make this a party for three?" Remus suggested, grabbing Harry with his left arm, and then Sirius' hand with his right hand. James was holding Reign as it happened, and Lily rushed out of the room first, almost tripping down the stairs, and being rescued by James levitating her with his wand, as he had Reign in his arms and wouldn't risk hurting Reign to sweep Lily off her feet before she fell. When they reached the bottom, they caught their breath and discussed what to do about the party.

"I say we floo to the Weasleys, give them the babies, floo to the houses of the people we invited, get them to floo to the Weasleys with us and have the party there," Sirius panted, crouching as he rested his hands on his knees, as if praying.  
"Oh great, have five babies run rampage at the Weasley house whilst the mother is having a child? How smart," Remus rolled his eyes, "it's the only plan of action, though."  
"'Oh great..'," Sirius stuck his tongue out and mimicked Remus' shot down of Sirius' idea.  
"I'll stay with them?" Lily suggested, "I mean five babies to one mother, but if it'll help."  
"Good idea," James ran over to the fire and floo'd to Minnie's house in Hogsmeade, and then to Hagrid's cabin, and then back to the Weasleys, where Sirius had already gotten the Tonks', Remus had Marlene and Mary and Dumbledore was unsurprisingly already there, drinking some brandy. That summed up Reign's birthday pretty well.


	13. 1981: Ginevra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Lily's POV  
> \- this is short because i wanted to skip until Reign and Harry are six years old and have been showing signs of magic for almost a year

12 August 1981

Lily had been up all night, looking after five babies with the help of James, Mary and Sirius. Marlene had been with Molly and Arthur, her Healer training almost complete, and Remus was looking after a very over-enthused William Weasley. Andromeda and Ted were overseeing Charlie, Percy and Nymphadora playing together and trying to keep their voices down to a minimum in order to not disturb the others. Minerva, Hagrid and Dumbledore had to be off, having Hogwarts business to attend to, and not having the time to stay around, but wished them all luck.

"How was William?" Lily giggled as a disgruntled Remus had his right hand resting on Bill's shoulder so that he wouldn't run around, all excited. Lily was hardly in the position to be annoying him as she had been looking after Reign - who was squirming for Sirius to hold her. Sirius had been caring for Fred and George, finding the prospect of the two boys hilarious and he was eager to look after them. Of course Reign's safety had come first for Sirius, so when he had a chance to hold her, he did. James looked after Harry and Ron, with the firm intentions to make them best friends.  
"William is an angel," Remus sat down, beckoning for William to sit besides him.  
"I'm so excited!" he babbled.  
"How come, sweetheart?" Lily asked kindly, putting Reign on the floor, supported by several layers of blankets and leaving her to sleep.  
"I'm going to Hogwarts next month!"  
"That's awesome honey! Have you got your supplies yet?"  
"Not yet, but I'm worried Mum might not be able to take me because of the new baby," he pouted, looking upset by this idea.

"If she can't, we will!" Sirius declared, also settling the twins down for a nap.  
"Yeah, definitely," James grinned.  
"We should probably stay around for a few days, to ensure Molly can cope with four babies," Remus looked thoroughly impressed, "that woman might just be god."  
"Let's face it Lils," Mary said as she tidied things away with her wand, "she's twice the woman we'll ever be."  
"Four times, more like it."

Molly was resting upstairs, having given birth the day before. Lily advised that everyone should just stay downstairs until Marlene told them that she was fine to have visitors.  
"Trust me, pushing someone out of there is so so tiring," Lily laughed, "that poor woman. Done it seven times!"  
Arthur had come downstairs to help with the babies, and once he saw they were all asleep, summoned alcohol for everyone, minus William.  
"We call him Bill," Arthur explained, as Percy had shouted for Bill all over the house, wanting to play exploding snap with him, which confused Lily a bit.  
"How do you manage so many children at once?" Sirius asked, bouncing Reign up and down on his leg and watching her carefully, "I get nervous just with this little princess."  
"It's hard," Arthur admitted, "there are so many things you might be restricted from doing, you know, going for a night out and getting hammered, or pranking, in your instance. Maybe the drinking too. I've heard stories about you from the bartenders that would, honestly, not surprise me in the slightest. But, it's best to put that all on hold. It's best to be there for your children and your spouses. We've got seven children now, and I'm going to have to put my foot down."

"If you tried telling that to Molly, she would undoubtedly kick you out for a few days," Lily smiled, holding out her hand for Charlie to hold. He took it and sat down besides her, looking at his siblings, and new friends.  
"Of course," Arthur said. He stood up and murmured something that sounded awfully like "redheads" to Sirius, Remus and James. They all giggled cautiously until Lily rolled her eyes and left the room, Charlie right behind her.  
"Where are we going?" he blinked, looking around at all of the mess that he and Percy had created with Nymphadora.  
"We're gonna go see your mum, and see how she's doing!"  
"Who are you?" he continued, tripping over the blankets and books.  
"Aunt Lily."  
"Are you dad's sister?"  
"No! I'm-" Lily paused, stopping on first landing and looking down at Charlie, "I'm one of your parents' friends. I'm not related to you - well I probably am, but I'm just Aunt Lily. If you don't feel comfortable calling me your aunt, you can just call me Mrs Potter."  
"Okay Aunt Lily," he was still holding onto her hand and marched up the stairs, bringing Lily with him.

"I don't know where your mother's room is, so you might have to show me."  
"It's just to your right," he gestured. The door to her right had a plaque on it, that read "Mum and Dad." Lily knocked on it before she entered and as soon as she heard Marlene's steely voice allowing them to come in the room, she saw the room for the first time. There was a book case above the fireplace, the walls were beige, and the floor was covered in a white carpet, and a brown rug. The room smelt of oak and lavender. Molly lay in the king-sized bed that faced the fireplace and she was cradling her newborn child in her arms. Marlene was sitting on a chair besides her, with a magazine in hand.  
"It's a girl!" Molly whispered. She could hardly contain her excitement for her friend: Lily had known for a while that Molly had always wanted a daughter. Lily beamed back at her, and remained standing as Charlie let go of her hand and ran over to his mother, examining his little sister and patting her slightly on the head, "Charles, don't pat her too hard, silly boy!" she sounded tired, but nonetheless, happy to be there with two of her children.

Lily stood awkwardly by the doorway, making brief eye contact with her best friend Marlene every so often, until Molly told her to go and sit on the foot of her bed. She (Molly) had allowed her to hold the baby girl as she brainstormed for names.  
"I don't know what you should name the child, but don't ask James or Sirius. They really think Elvensdork or Thaddicus is an acceptable name, and I'm just not sure the poor girl should have to endure that."  
"I like the idea of her middle name being Molly. Bill's middle name is his father's name. I think it's fair if I'm allowed to name my only daughter after myself."  
"Of course!" Lily cradled the baby and watched as her eyes fluttered open for the first time.  
"You know, Arthur and I went on holiday to this little place called Ginevra for our honeymoon," Molly whispered, picking up Charlie to put her in her lap, heaving slightly as he cuddled her back, jumped off and then ran downstairs. He came back up with James, Sirius, Arthur and Bill behind him.  
"Ginevra's a wicked word," Lily watched James' expression go from neutral to excitement. He loved this name, it was obvious.  
"Ginny, for short," Arthur said, sounding a bit relieved. He probably didn't want to have to join in the baby-naming process for the seventh time.  
"Ginevra Weasley," Sirius said, "that's so cool."

Molly smiled, and told them that she was to be called Ginevra Molly Weasley, but Ginny for short. The boys had then gone to go get a cot from Ron's room, in the attic. He hadn't used it in a while, despite only being one - he usually just slept on a bundle of blankets on the foot side of Percy's bed. Ginevra was settled in there.  
"If you ever want a few days of less noise, we'd be happy to have Bill, Charlie and Percy over? We could take Bill to Diagon Alley for you?"  
"That would be nice dears," Molly murmured sleepily, "they can be a handful, but if you don't mind. You can just ask Arthur for the money for his school equipment, and help them pack? We'll write to you when we shall be expecting them back."

After they had helped Bill, Charlie and Percy pack, after they had also got some money off of Arthur, after they had gathered the babies too, they had gone back to Grimmauld Place, with Arthur's strictest instructions to leave Percy and Charlie at home, as well as the babies. James and Sirius were insistent upon going to Diagon Alley with Bill, which Lily and Remus couldn't refuse. Whilst the boys were gone, Lily had given a tour of the house to Charlie and Percy, and let them choose the room they wanted to sleep in. They had chosen Orion's room, finding it funny how the portrait would say such rude things in a short span of time. Remus had to refuse to let them in the room before they chose a much bigger room; it was one with three beds, and a lot of space between them and around them. They unpacked their things in such an untidy fashion, but Lily couldn't help but feel fondness for the two boys. Remus and Lily sat on the bed farthest from the boys' playing area and let them do their thing - obviously after ensuring that there was nothing they could hurt themselves on.

"Where's Reign and Harry?" Lily's chill demeanour had changed once she realised that the babies were not present in the room.  
"In their cots, sleeping," Remus said, looking as though he could do with some sleep too.  
"I'd suggest you should go to sleep, but honestly, the boys could do with some watching."  
"They're literally playing exploding snap, they're so adorable!" Remus sighed, "I wish they never grew old."  
"That could have slight implications of them dying and never actually getting older."  
"Merlin, Evans. Cheerful, much?"  
"I'm just saying! Ah, what do you think will happen if we grow old?"  
"We would definitely be those cool grandparents that still think we're cool and hip-hop in the ripe age of 60."  
"You think 60's old?"  
"Well, we're 20 now. If our children have children at age 30, we'd be about 50. It feels old. It's because we're so young with babies already."

12 December 1981

It was Charlie's birthday, and he was really insistent on inviting Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Reign and Harry. He even wrote their invitation, scribbling wonky crosses that couldn't be mistaken for anything but kisses that showed his bursting excitement to celebrate his birthday with the strangers he had met on the day of his sister's birth. On that day, Harry had learned how to walk properly and was steadily guided by James throughout the day. Harry clutched to James' calf as though hanging on for his dear life as they walked through the Burrow together. Reign was crawling eagerly behind them and was picked up so many times by Nymphadora Tonks, to her excitement. Charlie and Tonks had become friends, as they learned that they would be going to Hogwarts together in three years time. 

As the day went on, Lily had become infatuated by the smallest things in their house, like their clock for example. It had nine hands on it, and the clock's face bore not numbers, but locations. The nine hands were for the nine members, and the locations on the clock were prison, mortal peril, home, travelling, work, hospital, travelling, lost and school. It was an exceptional piece of magic, and Lily couldn't stop herself asking Molly how she might go about making her own one.  
"Oh, dear, it's a simple bit of magic," Molly shook her head, and went back to chopping her vegetables for the dinner, "I could make it for you?"  
"That would be great!"  
"Who would you want to be included on this clock?"  
"Me, James, Sirius, Reign, Remus and Harry. Could the locations be 'Grimmauld Place' 'Hogsmeade Cottage' 'School' 'Detention' 'Doing something stupid at home' 'Fooling around at work' 'Being an idiot while travelling' 'on that death-trap of a motorcycle' 'could you boys just NOT' 'with the badly behaved rabbit' and 'Mortal Peril'?"  
"That's a lot dear, just write them all down, and I'll send the clock when I'm finished."  
"Oh you're an angel Molly."

31 December 1981

Lily was wondering where Harry and Reign could’ve gotten to this time. They had made it another habit of theirs to disappear for a few hours and appear to be playing with the ghouls in the attic. They had been very fond of the creepy attire they lived in and Sirius found it hilarious.

Sirius would also take the babies to stargaze outside on the roof and showed them all the constellations he could name in the sky. He was quite fond of the Canis Major - the Great Dog Constellation. It was because the brightest star that could be spotted in the sky was named Sirius. Everyone that got to know Sirius for who he really was understood why the name suited him so well. He could so easily brighten the lives of his loved ones as soon as he walked into the room. He gave them a sense of comfort and safety, and had always tried to drive himself away from his family’s views and their traits. It worked very well.

”JAMES IF YOU’VE WRAPPED THEM UP IN THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK-“ Lily yelled, looking around frantically in their room, before realising she could just summon the cloak. “Accio cloak!” the cloak hurled towards her but she still couldn’t find the babies. It was also strangely quiet - Remus and Sirius weren’t in their room or in the drawing room.  
“LILS IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE.”  
“IT HAPPENED ONCE MY ASS!”  
“Okay this accident occurs weekly but it happened yesterday! My dumbassness is not due for another six days!”

Lily and James had given up their search and collapsed on the sofa in the drawing room, sighing with relief and relaxing before they began to make out. They knew that Remus and Sirius were with them, and needn’t worry any further. They were immature, sure, but they always worried about being good parents, and used that drive to be the best they could.  
The stargazing on the roof lasted hours, and they didn’t stop until Reign had comfortably nestled on Sirius’ chest and fallen asleep. Harry was sleepily walking into Remus and then almost bouncing off of him until Remus picked him up and went back inside the house. Sirius didn’t come in until later, cradling Reign and singing her songs.  
He didn’t like to admit it, but Sirius could sing. Pretty well. He would sing all kind of songs, but some disturbed Remus. He didn’t like them. There was one about a Hippogriff eating naughty children - his mother had sung it to him when he struggled in his crib and cried all night.

Lily would only ever hear the story of the time they went stargazing every holiday. It became one of the things Sirius did with his daughter, because Remus never studied the stars quite like he did, but observed the moon, learned its phases and became infatuated by how the waxing gibbous or the waning crescent had an affect on how driven by primal instincts or fatherly nature he was. Or how good of a husband he would be

Lily had taken to studying astrology, and all the star signs, rising signs, and moon signs. She had her chart all done up. Everyone used to laugh at her, but it felt nice to finally be understood by something that couldn’t be explained by magic. She once gave a speech on psychology in a restaurant of gawking people who passed by their table and was astonished by how they dressed. She used it as a way to explain how people could be so cruel and judging. James took this subject up at the nearest muggle school that would take him. He was so fascinated by the subject that he often forgot to eat, sleep or make fun of Lily and her profound love for astrology

They never forgot their wizarding roots, and honestly: who could? But, as they raised the two children that had enlightened their lives so much, they realised that muggles were smarter than what they were given credit for. And why not expand their knowledge?  
Sirius and James were rich enough to support their families on their money, alone, without working, but Remus chose to get a job. He knew he could always be supported, but he fancied working in the Department of the Regulation and control of Magical Creatures. He was ever so controversial, but he loved it. And he was good at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CREDITS TO OHHMARAUDERS ON TUMBLR FOR THE IDEA OF THE POTTER FAMILY CLOCK <33


	14. 1986: Time Gaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Remus' POV  
> \- As said in the previous chapter, I just wanted some time gaps and stuff

13 May 1986

Remus had been anxious about taking his daughter to the seaside for a long while. Sirius was excited to go and was adamant that Remus needed to come too. Reign had been showing signs of magic for a long time now - her Metamorphmagus abilities had strengthened and she had accidentally hurled cereal at James one time, when she was fussy and refused to eat any. Remus was worried that Reign might go over the top on her magic and she would defy the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. The Ministry might get involved -  
"Remus, stop worrying," Sirius said firmly over breakfast, "she's just six, and she's not going to get into any legal trouble, although if she did, she'd be taking after her Paddy."  
"Paddy!" Reign shouted, "I hate my dress!"  
"Your dress looks lovely pup, and you haven't got time to change. Eat your breakfast and then we must be on our way to the beach!"

Remus stared anxiously at his watch. It told the time, but if Remus were to speak into it the name of one of the people he loved, it would point him in that direction. It had been a present to him on his eighteenth birthday from the marauders and he had treasured it ever since he got it. It was about 9am, and the Lupin-Blacks were the only ones awake.  
"I miss Harry!" Reign complained to Sirius, who had finished eating, and was now standing up, brushing crumbs off himself and picking Reign up. She squealed with laughter and then stopped complaining until they got into the car and started driving, "wizards aren't meant to drive! You all suck at it!"

Remus had gotten his drivers license in 1983, and Sirius in 1984. There hadn't been a great deal of time to do it after they left Hogwarts and fought in the war, and then shortly after that had finished, they needed to focus on raising Reign. Once she was 3, Remus figured she could be left with the Weasleys for an hour every week and wreak havoc in someone else's home. Whatever damage she caused, he was happy to reimburse and almost always felt bad. He couldn't be mad at Reign though, it probably wasn't her fault. It was the marauders blood in her that would cause her to misbehave like that. Remus was secretly proud of her whenever she got into trouble, but he always had to pretend that there was a fine line between being mischievous and a misbehaved person, and Reign wasn't allowed to be too badly misbehaved.

He knew that whatever he said to her would only increase her desire to do bad things, and nothing he could do or say would change it. Sirius loved it. He worried that Reign might've been a bit too uptight and studious, and not at all like him. 

"I'm better at driving!" Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus, who was disgruntled in the driver's seat.  
"It's me," Remus scowled.  
"It's Dad," Reign laughed, "Paddy's awful."  
"I'm sorry, did we raise a liar, now?" Sirius grinned.  
"No," Reign replied simply, "if you had, you wouldn't have known about it for a while."  
"That's what I like to hear- WAIT WHAT?"

They arrived at the beach after two hours of petty squabbles and empty threats to turn around and go back home. It was the place they had been to in the summer before seventh year: Cornwall. It was where everything had happened.

"And this, Reign Minerva, is where I told Uncle Prongs, Aunts Lily, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas and your Paddy that I was gay. Now, Sirius didn't even think I was gay, even though we were a bit of a thing, on and off. You're too young to know about that yet," Remus snorted, crouching by the site they had crashed for a while in the summer of 1977.

"A fool's mistake Remus," Sirius sighed, "it's where you declared your undying love for me and I realised James' heart had been stolen by another."  
Reign was giggling, and then set off towards the car to get the muggle things they had bought from the shops. It was a bucket and a spade. The bucket took form in the shape of a castle, so Remus could only assume that if you filled the bucket to the brim with sand and turned it over, a castle would form.  
"You don't think we should've taken the Potters with us, do you?" Remus wondered to Sirius, who was sitting a mere metre away from Reign, and watching her with fascination as she filled up her many buckets with sand and then toppled them over. Sirius shook his head.  
"I want Reign to have some memories of just us. I love them, so very much, and you know that. But they're going to have their own family outings, and so are we. It's not criminal to want to have a few days out by yourself with your husband and daughter - it's not too much to ask. It really isn't."

Remus knew he was right. He couldn't think of a counter argument, and honestly didn't want to. He was so caught up in the moment with his own little family that he had forgotten that the full moon was only a week away. He could feel his pull to the moon was getting even stronger, and worried that his body would simply collapse into water and join the tides.

They had begun to run along the beach after getting changed into beach-appropriate clothes. Remus wore long boxers, to cover the scars on his calf, and Sirius wore boxers that came just above his kneecaps. Reign was wearing a full body swimsuit and looked adorable prancing about in such weather. The sun was weak, but that didn't stop them from enjoying the weather as much as they could. After a while, Remus suggested they get some ice cream, or some fish and chips, and had gone to get some as he was the only one who could order like a muggle and wasn't six years old.

Reign's gratifying screams would only get louder the closer Remus got to where they had based themselves. He sat down on the blanket they had set out and realised the bucket and spade had been abandoned, and Sirius and Reign were nowhere to be seen. The sea glistened in the sun, and it took only two seconds for Remus to realise they were playing in the sea, and he tore off after them, leaving the food and grabbing his wand as he just about witnessed Sirius throw his daughter in the sea. She looked half-terrified but she looked as though she was excited to see where the water might take her.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" Remus yelled at the top of his lungs, "I COULD KILL YOU!" "And you do every night, dear," Sirius smirked, but Remus threw the jelly-legs curse at him, threw his wand over to the side and dove into the ocean, hurrying to Reign before she reached the type of waters that meant her feet were no longer touching the ground. Once he had her safely flung over his back, he swam back and took her back to the blanket, summoning his wand and some towels to dry her.

Five minutes later, Sirius had hopped his way back, his famous annoyed face prominent and his legs looking wobbly.  
"Were you just going to leave me there?" he demanded.  
"Were you just going to leave our daughter to drown?" Remus shot back, arching his eyebrows at Reign, who was still shivering, despite the warming spells Remus had put on here, "come on Reign Minerva, you should be a bit warmer!"  
"Okay fine, I am!"

"She wasn't going to drown, she was going to learn how to swim!" Sirius sat down with great difficulty and his eyes gave off a menacing stare, so Remus couldn't leave the curse on him and removed it, "it's muggle stience, or whatever, if you throw a child in the water, their primal instinct is to quickly learn how to swim and get them to safety!"  
"It's science, and I think you knew that," Remus retorted.  
"I didn't, but whatever floats your boat Lupin-Black."

The silence had lasted about a few minutes before Sirius remarked, "I thought _you'd _know all about primal instincts Moony."__

____

____

Remus' eyes flashed with warning at Sirius. They had given Reign the gay dad talk a few days ago. She obviously didn't care because she had been raised by four people, and nothing could be any weirder than that in her honest opinion. The werewolf thing was a different matter. She had learned how to read, because Remus thought it was important she went to muggle school, even if for a few years. She could read and write pretty well, and had taken to stealing Remus' books, which only made Remus' faith in her intelligence grow. When it was the full moon, she propped herself on a high chair and stared at the clock that rested on the top of a shelf in the kitchen. Remus', Sirius' and James' hand all turned to "With the badly behaved rabbit" and didn't move until they had started travelling and then back home; their excuses for the location were rubbish, and would become less believable as she grew up.

"Daddy?" Reign asked, licking her ice cream and getting it on her cheeks and around the corners of her mouth, "where's the badly behaved rabbit? Can I meet it?"  
"Reign, cubby, you're getting food on your face again," Remus fretted, getting out a handkerchief and scrubbing at her face until she swatted him away.  
"Don't avoid the question!"  
"We'll answer that question another day baby," he promised. But he knew that Reign's mind would only wonder and overthink the longer they put off answering that question. Sirius had been thinking along the same lines and muttered to him that telling her would only get harder as she got older.

"We'll answer it later, okay? Let's just enjoy ice cream first," Remus' anxiety was rising fast. He didn't know how she was going to react, and didn't want her to be frightened of him. Sirius had noticed his change of behaviour and proceeded to feed his face as well, to give Remus something else to think about.

"Remuuu! My face!" he pouted, pointing to it.  
"Oh you sod," Remus tutted, wiping at his face with the same handkerchief. He then rested his body weight on his two arms and just about lifted his body to face skywards, watching the sun slowly set on the horizon. Reign jumped on top of him gleefully and he sagged to the floor.

"Okay, now tell me about the badly behaved rabbit!" she demanded.  
He sighed, and decided that now was a good time to tell her. She could resent him, and he wouldn't blame her.  
"Okay, now, I love you Reign Minerva, don't forget this, please?"  
"I love you more Dad!" "You don't, but okay. So, just before my own fifth birthday, I was bitten by a werewolf," Remus paused after hearing Reign gasp theatrically. She wasn't phased by the information and didn't seem to know where Remus was going with it, so took a deep breath and continued, "and at the full moon, I transform into a werewolf too. Uncle Prongs calls it my 'furry little problem' and when we were at Hogwarts, it was easy to assume that I just had a badly behaved rabbit. But I AM the badly behaved rabbit."  
"So you turn into a werewolf once a month?" Reign processed, her nose scrunching, and her hair colour changing to the fair shade of Remus'. Her eyes became lighter, and her build was becoming more lanky.

"Yeah," Remus could see Reign's thought process, and how the cogs in her brain were turning and how she quickly came to terms with this revelation.  
"Cool! Why do Paddy and Uncle Prongs come with you? Surely they might get hurt?" She said anxiously, biting her fingernails. Sirius took her hands away from her mouth and kissed her cheek, laughing.  
"No! Watch this, Reign!" Sirius took a few minutes before transforming into Padfoot. Reign laughed and screamed, "doggie!"  
"That's Paddy! His dog name is Padfoot, so Paddy is derived from it," Remus laughed, "do you want Padfoot to take you around the beach?"  
"What, like, sit on his back and then he can run around?"  
"Yes cub, do you want to?"  
"Yes!"

Once Remus had Reign put securely on Padfoot's back, they ran around the beach for half an hour before they decided to call it a day and go home.  
"How was your day, then? Did you like the beach?" Sirius called from the passenger's seat.  
"It was nice! Not looking forward to the drive back though."  
"Do you hate car journeys? I do too, they make me feel a little sick."

They arrived back several hours later. Lily and James looked a bit tipsy and Harry was running around the place, as if hyper.  
"What do we have here, then?" Sirius grinned, "hit the alcohol too early?"  
"Just a glass or two," James gestured to the two empty bottles to his right.  
"More like bottles!"  


"And your son?" Remus slapped James, whose eyes were drooping, and his hand that supported his chin was slipping.  
"Regulus stopped by," Lily yawned.  
"REGGIE? WHERE IS HE?"  
"He's somewhere around..." James fell asleep. Right there. Remus shook his head and then wrestled Harry to the ground.

"All right Prongslette, where's Uncle Reggie?" Sirius ruffled his hair, and allowed Reign and Harry to follow him in his search. They found him in his room, tidying away all the things he had not used in years.  
"REGGIE!" Sirius tackled him to the ground once he set his eyes on him and messed up his hair, "Where have you been?"  
"Undercover," he mumbled, "I'll explain at an Order meeting, if you can get one of those sorted?"  
"Not right now Regulus, meet your niece and nephew," Sirius muttered under his breath, whacking Regulus on his head and prompting Reign and Harry towards him.

"Reign! Use your manners," Remus urged her, pushing her towards Regulus. She looked shy and intimidated by him and went bright red.  
"I'm Uncle Reggie, hi Reign!"  
"Hi Uncle Reggie," she whispered.  
"She's shy," Sirius chuckled nervously, "come on pup, he doesn't bite!"

After a series of awkward greetings and interactions, they were talking normally, as if they had been friends for a while and were reunited old pals.  
"You need a place to stay, then?" Sirius asked, seeing Regulus' luggage and Regulus' travel worn expression.  
"Yeah, where better than my childhood home?"

25 September 1986

They all sat around the long winded table that stood in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. The Order members had been gathered around over the last few months. Some had been laying low, some had resumed their jobs as normal, but all kept their eyes peeled for any activity that could've been suspicious or Dark. When they got Dumbledore's call, mostly all of them responded within days, or weeks. A meeting was to be held on the 25th September without fail. Thankfully, no one had cancelled.

The children of the Order were to be looked after by Percy Weasley. There five six year olds and one five year old. Percy was content to let them play in Reign and Harry's room and tried to make sure that they would not hurt themselves or others, by accident, or purpose.

"What's this about, Dumbledore?" Ted asked, intertwining his wife's hand in his own.  
"Regulus has some matters to discuss. I wish for no one to disrupt him once he has begun talking."  
"Uh, thanks. So, when I was undercover as a Death Eater, I learned that You-Know-Who has split his soul. Created horcruxes. As I understand it, he's created six of them. Now, he can't die unless all of them have been destroyed, because that's what horcruxes are for. His body is destroyed but he will live on as some small disembodied creature until someone has the guts to help him be revived. I have an idea of where one of them is, and I've searched the area several times, and will be more than happy to go again. The Dark Lord, himself, has told me that there are many levels of defences, and one of them includes drinking a potion that induces fear, delirium and thirst. Extreme thirst. So I suggest whoever comes with me will have to have loads of water at hand, so that we won't have to retrieve it from the lake surrounding it," Regulus recited, as if he had memorised it off a piece of parchment, "the lake is full of inferi," he explained, looking around at the confused faces.

"Wait, what do you mean 'whoever comes with me?'" Sirius asked sharply, "you aren't labouring under the delusion that you're going, are you?"  
"I am going, and I won't fight you on this," Regulus said simply, staring down his older brother, determined to win the fight they were about to have.

The fight had been dragged on for a long time until Dumbledore stepped in, announcing that he would be going with Regulus and no harm would come to him whilst they were together. Dumbledore was the one wizard Voldemort had always feared. Sirius didn't want to challenge him, and saved his breath for ranting later, once the meeting was over and everyone had gone home.

"Wait, what do you think the horcrux is?" Remus asked, intently.  
"I think the locket of Salazar Slytherin. I have a feeling he used the other founder's possessions too. The cup and diadem, I strongly suspect are also horcruxes. He wasn't fond of the sword, because he knew that if it was impregnated with basilisk venom, it would be able to destroy them."  
"That's three, what about the other three?"  
"He wanted to have six or seven horcruxes, but it isn't to say he has already made all of them."  
"I'll investigate what other objects could've been used, whilst also being on the lookout for the cup and diadem," Dumbledore stood up and stretched. McGonagall declared that she, too, would help. And then Molly stood up too. And pretty soon, everyone was making a solemn promise to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note to self : Sonoro Quiescis is the silencing charm thingie  
> that's all i wanted to say


	15. 1987: Hippogriffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Sirius' POV  
> \- Mentions of death yuhh

5 September 1987

Sirius, Remus, Lily, James, Harry and Reign had floo'ed over to the Weasleys for a sleepover again.

The Burrow (the Weasley's house) was roomy. It was spacious and luxurious. It was to be assumed that they might not have had as much money as they did, but they worked hard for their money and every penny they had was deserved.

The children had their own broomsticks, and when together, always played Quidditch. Not with actual Quaffles, beaters bats, Bludgers and a snitch, though. It was mostly them chasing after each other, playing tag in the air and determined to fly within the boundaries of protective spells that lingered around the abode. They sometimes tried to fly out of them too, but it never worked.

Molly had a knack for preparing feasts and seized any opportunity she saw to create one. She could stand there, cooking, whilst the others lounged around the kitchen area lazily, gossiping with her for hours. They had their dinner at around 4 o'clock. It was February, so the sun set early, and it was common sense to eat outside, as there were 11 people to be served, and there simply wasn't enough room to eat together in one room.

"To growing up!" the adults toasted with their alcoholic beverages, and the children with their orange juice. Sirius spat his out, the twins had obviously spiked their drink with some kind of dirt they found in the garden. He couldn't help but feel proud of them.

"Carry on our Hogwarts pranking legends boys. With Harry and Reign," he advised them after this, "don't get caught though!"  
"It's our dream to run a joke shop," Fred let slip, covering his mouth as soon as he said it, looking around to see if his mother was nearby, "mum doesn't want us pursuing our jokes or anything, she wants us to excel in academics, but it doesn't seem like anything we'd be interested in."

Sirius was impressed by the six year olds already knowing what they wanted to do with their lives. It was very eye-opening. 

The night had fallen too quickly, and Reign had fallen asleep by 10 o'clock. She was all tuckered out in her seat after a long day of playing outside with the boys and Ginny. Sirius hauled her over his shoulder and carried her upstairs, beckoning for Remus to follow after. 

They had stayed at the Burrow often enough for them to have their own designated room, so they found their way up with ease and Sirius found one of his own rocking chairs in there. He was building them a lot again these days. He made three for the Burrow: one for Arthur and Molly, one for Sirius and Remus, and one for Lily and James. Remus passed out on the bed, his body widespread in a starfish position so that Sirius had no space to get on without moving him. He didn't want to disturb him, so he just sat down in the rocking chair, and tugged one of the blankets out from under Remus' stomach and wrapped it around himself and Reign.

Reign was sucking on her thumb, even though it was a habit she was supposed to have kicked several years ago. She still went back to it whenever she was having a particularly bad or good dream. By her disturbed expression, she was having a nightmare, and fidgeted and squirmed in her sleep. She made frightened noises and began breathing heavily to which Sirius had begun to sing a lullaby to her in a soft undertone. It was the one about hippogriffs that everyone hated. He had never really known why, although he sort of began to understand as the years by. It didn't stop him from singing it from time to time. It seemed to calm Reign, strangely.

_"Hey little baby, try to refrain from doing anything wrong  
The hippogriff you might wake up is very strong  
He can hear when you've upset anyone  
And won't hesitate to sort you out in the long run  
He won't be happy if you've disturbed his sleep  
Nothing can escape his wrath, so many just sit there and weep and weep  
Naughty little children is his favourite meal  
You won't be able to escape this terrible ordeal  
You might be a little baby, but to him you're a piece of meat  
Naughty little children is his favourite thing to eat!" _

She slowly stopped struggling against her father's safe grips and stopped sucking on her thumb. Her expression cleared and she was calm again. Sirius couldn't sleep as easily or his nightmares wouldn't subdue as quickly. He didn't want to sleep in case he met the demons that fought against him in his head in his sleep. So, he kept singing the same verse over and over again, adding in harmonies or long pauses for dramatic effect.

6 September 1987

Reign's eyes fluttered open just as the horizon turned a blood orange; the sun was to meet the sky soon. Sirius was still rocking in the chair and he looked down at his daughter's face. Her appearance had altered during the night, and her hair was curly and black - much like Sirius'. Her eyes were a lighter brown, as if working their way to grey - like his.

"You can sleep for a few more hours now, Minnie," he murmured once more, fighting to keep his eyes open, but he kissed Reign's forehead as his body gave way and his muscles slackened. He became a lot more relaxed on the chair and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Relieved that her dad was finally sleeping, she slipped off his lap, removed the blanket from herself and smothered it all around him, fetching a pillow from Remus' bed and propping his head on top of it, so that it didn't grind against the wooden top as he shifted uncomfortably in his dreams. She then noticed Remus beginning to stir as well, his hand reaching out, as if asking for Sirius' embrace or for Reign's.

Reign took his hand and put it back under the covers, kissing his hair and then tracing the scars on his face. No one was allowed to do that as freely as Reign was. The first thing she ever grabbed was Remus' nose, tracing along the red lines her petite baby fingers were drawn to. He cried that day, and so did she.

Fred and George were waiting to sneak into her room and pull her by the hair, as normal children did. She saw them coming and ran as far from them as she could, stumbling down the stairs and clumsily making her way to the broom cupboard. It flung open as she approached it, albeit it was normally locked by magic. She made the slightest summons for the nearest broom and it obeyed her. Wind flew ferociously in her hair and the sun seemed to greet her with warmth and kindness before she was caught by the boys.

"Tag! You're it, Reign!" George squeaked, wobbling uncertainly as he caught up to Reign. Fred hadn't gotten there yet, but Reign zoomed past him, slapping him on the shoulder to announce he was now it and then flying off

"GEORGE! FRED! REIGN!" Molly yelled from below. She was a blur of red hair and fair skin. Reign couldn't make out any more detail than that until she had literally flown up to them on another broom, "breakfast! We were worried!"  
"We were outside, playing!" Fred protested, gesturing widely at the three of them. Molly took his arm and guided him earthwards. George followed suite and Reign didn't dismount her broom until she saw Remus and Sirius calling for her.

"Come on Reign!" Sirius called, both his hands cupped around his mouth. He didn't wear the same expression as Molly. She had been worried, but he was.. _proud_.

"WOOO SHE CAN FLY!" James whooped, jumping into the air and looking into the air, where Reign was rapidly flying back down.  
"EASY DOES IT!" Remus roared, holding his arms out as she flew into him. They collapsed like a bundle of sticks on the ground and everyone burst into laughter.

"Remus she just-" Sirius giggled, after hours of it happening, "SHE JUST FLEW INTO YOU!"  
"I assure you, I was there, I remember. Now, Sirius, eat."  
"Okay, _daddy_ ," Sirius blurted out. The adults at the table whipped their heads around so fast to stare at him that he thought they'd get whiplash, "just because he keeps telling me what to do!" he stuttered.  
"I'm sure he tells you a lot of what to do in the bedroom," Lily muttered so loudly that everyone could hear, but not everyone could understand.

"Does he not sleep at night, daddy? I hear yells from your room at night sometimes," Reign asked innocently, chewing on some bread that hadn't been toasted yet.  
"Reign Minerva," Remus chuckled nervously, "that bread needs to be put in the toaster, come on, let's go."

Once they were out of earshot, James cackled, "couldn't help yourself, could you Pads?"  
"You know what I meant!" Sirius shot.  
"Yes, but she heard you two having sex!” Lily shot back.  
“So what? She’s heard you two having sex a bunch of times! Harry too! The poor children are scarred, they think your room is haunted! Nothing but moans and groans up there! Almost as if there’s a fucking ghoul!” Sirius retaliated, half laughing and half furious. Lily and James had nothing to say back, so they covered their heads in their hands whilst Arthur gave a wry chuckle and Molly blushed red behind the ears.

"Paddy didn't sleep until the sunrise," Reign snitched. Shit, Sirius thought, shit shit shit. Remus was going to know he had been overthinking all night again.  
"What's that, cub?" Remus asked, his voice a little too casual for Sirius' liking.  
"Haha, she meant that I woke up at sunrise, when she did," Sirius said, burning red.  
"You two woke up that early?" Remus asked, with mild surprise.  
"Yeah, it was hard sleeping on a rocking chair because you don't want to move your werewolf of a husband off the bed," Sirius smiled sarcastically and rolled his eyes. Remus stuck his middle finger out at him and then continued to eat his toast.

3 November 1987

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PADDY!" Reign screamed. She had a habit of sneaking into their room in the middle of the night and wedging herself between her two dads. Sometimes, she lay her head on one of their stomachs and rested her feet on the other's stomach and her whole body dangled from the mattress as if in limbo. She was cuddled on Sirius' chest and bouncing up and down, trying to get him to wake up. Harry had joined in and was holding Sirius' hand in attempt to try and drag him out of the bed by force. Sirius could hear Remus chuckle drily and got out of bed, putting on the fluffiest pair of socks he could find, and the biggest sweater that Sirius would allow him to wear.

"Happy birthday my love," Remus kissed his lips and then left him alone with the two children making their best attempts to get him out of bed.  
"Paddy's tired," Sirius groaned, rolling on his side and closing his eyes. He felt his hand drop limply as Harry jumped on the bed and tried to open his eyes. His big green ones bore into Sirius' grey ones.  
"Reign I think he might be dead," Harry said.  
"NOO DON'T SAY THAT!" Reign screamed, falling off Sirius' side and starting to cry, "Paddy you can't die! Wake up!"

"If he's dead then he can't!" Harry declared.  
"He's not dead Harry!" Reign wailed, slapping Harry's back and scrambling off the bed to get her dad, "DADDY I THINK PADDY MIGHT BE DEAD!"

Sirius could hear Remus' unmistakably footsteps hurry nearer, as he picked Reign up from the landing and then telling Harry to get off the bed, "I'll deal with you two later," he informed them, "go downstairs, we'll be a minute."

<"HOLY SHIT REMUS THAT HURT!" Sirius howled as she clambered out of bed. Remus had struck him on his nose and he was clutching onto it, hopping up and down and breathing through the pain that he had been caused.  
"You could hear Reign crying that you were dead!" Remus said furiously, helping Sirius to his feet and pointing his wand at his nose. Instead of inflicting any more pain, his nose suddenly felt as though it hadn't been hit and he was feeling loads better.  
"I was asleep!" Sirius scowled as Remus dragged him by his ear downstairs.

Regulus was waiting for Sirius in the doorway to the kitchen/dining room. His arms were outstretched and he wore the biggest smile, as well as the darkest denim.  
"Reggie! You're back!" Sirius felt giddy all of a sudden.  
"Yeah! We even got the.. thing!"

"What thing?" Harry asked curiously from behind him. Harry was currently on his tip toes trying to mess up James' hair, but James being 6'2, he couldn't reach. James picked him up and put him in a chair at the table, shoving a bowl in front of him and demanding that he ate some cereal for breakfast. Reluctantly, he began to chew it and failed to hide the expression of disgust on his face.  
"It's probably some lame adult thing," Reign said, holding Remus' hand and refusing any food. Her eyes looked a little red from her hysterical episode of thinking of death, but she was back to her normal sassy self.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius found himself repeating that phrase to Reign a lot that day.  
"Bet you've forgotten why," Reign crossed her arm and stuck her tongue out, tilting her head and refusing to meet his eye. Sirius turned her head back and kissed it.  
"I'm sorry for letting you think I was dead when I was just sleeping," Sirius sighed, still attempting to feed her some cereal. He had the spoon in hand, but it was flung backwards, "oi!"  
"Fine! I forgive you. But not Harry," Reign pouted.  
"I thought he was dead!" Harry scowled, but Lily took one look at the family clock and then took another at Harry, looking stern. He scowled, sighed and then apologised.  
Reign was considerably nicer to everyone after that

"We having a party?" Reign asked hopefully.  
"Me and Daddy are going to the store to get some more music records for tonight. Aunt Marley and Mary are going to swing by!" Sirius called, tying his tie from the hallway.  
"Get Queen!" Reign scampered off to go and ruin his tie. Harry stated his undying hatred for Queen yet again. He did this every time someone even mentioned them.  
"Bad taste!" James chuckled, "I still love you bud."  
"Queen do suck though," Lily was reading the tales of Beedle the Bard again, choosing another story to read a restless Reign, who got panicky when she was away from her dads for too long.  
"Get Yungblud.. or Ricky Montgomery.. or-" Harry had written all of the song artists he liked listening to on his hand and was now struggling to read them as they had rubbed off in the shower.  
"It said Queen too," Reign ventured, trying to wind him up. It worked.


	16. 1991: Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Reign's POV  
> \- I might not continue with this story, I might just leave it here. I MIGHT come back to it though.

11 August 1991

"Reign Minerva!" Harry yelled, throwing back the covers that were draped on Reign and attempting to wake up his sister.  
"What do you want?" she grumbled.  
"It's your birthday!" Harry scrambled onto her bed and began to jump on it. Reign moved her right arm violently through the air to collide with Harry's legs and send him falling on top of her. She re-positioned the both of them so that they were just hugging, and she fell back asleep with Harry fidgeting and struggling to break free from the blankets she had attempted to strangle him with.

Several hours later, Harry dragged her out of bed and threw her into the arms of Fred and George, who were leaning on the doorway to their room. All three of them started singing 'Happy Birthday' as they pushed her down the stairs. Had she not been gripping the banister firmly, she would've slipped and tumbled down the stairs, which would've been amusing to anyone. 

When they reached the kitchen, they saw only a letter addressed to Reign, and the room looked empty other than that. 

"Where's the others?" Reign asked cautiously, looking around as if they were hiding under the table or had stuffed themselves into the cabinets somehow.

"We're to floo over to my house," George grabbed Reign's hand and led her to the fireplace. Harry took the letter and folded it neatly to fit in his jean pocket, and Fred handed her some floo powder. Having floo'ed over to the Weasleys' many times over the years, she did this with ease and disappeared into the green embers, and reappearing in the living room of the Burrow. There were birthday decorations everywhere, the letters R and G being sported everywhere, banners flying all over the place and it was as if it was a wedding, the way that the decorations were mainly just white.

Ginny was sitting on the dining table, drinking a cup of tea and admiring the decorations that she so obviously was in charge of. When she saw Reign, she squealed and ran up to her to give her the biggest hug ever. 

"Happy birthday!" They both giggled, wishing each other at the same time.

"Where's LB?" Remus called from the kitchen.  
"I'm here dad!"  
"About time you got up. Harry told us you tried to kill him with your duvet!" James laughed.  
"I would've succeeded if I didn't fall asleep right after."

"Hey!" Harry yelled.  
"Calm down Hazzy, I was joking!" Reign gave him a hug and then said, "where's my letter?"

It was from Hogwarts. Everyone knew that.

"Dear Miss Lupin-Black, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 August. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall," Reign read, and then double-backed on the sender, "wait Minerva?"

"Minerva McGonagall. She was our teacher when we were at school. You were named after her," Sirius explained.

They had spent the whole day discussing what Hogwarts was like, and the mischief the adults had gotten into when they were younger. It would've been funny if they hadn't told the stories at least three times before. Ron's birthday was when they first heard it.. and then Fred and George's... Harry's and then Reign and Ginny's. They all sighed and sat through their anecdotes for a few hours before Ginny subtly changed the subject to a more bearable topic : Quidditch.

James was amazing at Quidditch when they were at school. So was Sirius. 

"He was a lunatic, he never let us sleep in the morning," Sirius reminisced, "he would wake up at like 6 o'clock and get us up as well. Remus always stayed in bed or started to read his books in the stands. He hated flying."  
"I'd rather ride a broom than your motorbike. Any day," Remus raised his cup of coffee to his lips and then changed his mind, setting it back down on the table and staring at Sirius, who stared back. 

"Quidditch is amazing," Bill said from the back. He had been out of Hogwarts for four years now, and still only came home for the holidays. He worked as a curse breaker in Egypt and kept long hair, and fanged earrings. His mother didn't approve, but Reign found it extremely funny.

"I don't know where we inherited the Quidditch genes from, Mum and Dad are awful flyers," Charlie tittered.  
"Percy sucks though," Fred grinned, teasing his older brother. Percy just scowled and continued to help himself to more cake.

18 August 1991

"We're meeting Ron, Fred, George and Percy in Diagon Alley with their dad, so hurry up Reign!" Harry yelled from outside the bathroom. Reign had already showered, brushed her teeth and gotten changed, but she sat down on the cool bathroom floor, cuddling her legs and rocking slightly. She felt closest to her dad in this particular spot, though she couldn't really pinpoint why. 

_"Reign get the fuck out!"_ Reign could hear Harry's voice hiss through her mind, interrupting her thoughts. Harry and Reign could usually speak to each other telepathically, which came in handy a lot if they ever got separated from each other.

"UGH FINE," Reign begrudgingly left the bathroom and trudged to her bedroom so that she could flop onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. Sirius had painted the whole ceiling to be black with flecks of white decorated on top of them. He painted all the constellations and stars he could fit and then initialled himself next to the Canis Major. He also painted a moon and initialled RJL right next to it. There were animals there too. A brown stag and doe, with JFP and LEP next to them and a black dog was seen wrestling with a wolf. Sirius had put so much effort in it; he poured his heart and soul into the decoration of Harry and Reign's room that they would just stare at it for hours.

Harry's bed faced the doorway, and Reign's was on the other side of the room, in the left corner and position so that the foot side of the bed was closest to the door as well. There was no division in the room, but the posters that hung in the room made it obvious whose side of the room was whose. Reign's wardrobe was covered with spells and rude jokes, Harry's was plain white and tidy. the floor surrounding Reign's bed was messy, with pens littered everywhere. She found them in the muggle shop they stopped by once and became obsessed with writing with them. Harry usually kept the floor by his bed clean, but when he was in a mood, would throw everything on the floor. Harry's wall above his bed was covered with posters of his favourite bands and singers, or the people he felt conventionally attracted to. Some were boys, and some were girls. Reign's was similar, but she had written in a massive black pen "REIGN MINERVA" over one of the posters of Queen she had. She also wrote down song lyrics she liked from time to time.

"Come on Reign, we've gotta go soon," Remus called, walking into her room. He saw she was laying down on her bed and staring at the ceiling again and grabbed her arms to pull her up into a sitting position, "everything alright, cub?"  
"Yes," Reign lied. She still didn't know why that specific spot in the bathroom seemed to make her feel so connected to her dad, but she felt too scared to ask.   
"Are you sure?" Remus eyed her suspiciously, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.   
"Yeah!"  
"Do you want a sweater or a leather jacket today then?" he asked, walking bristly and using his wand to summon whatever Reign needed.  
"Sweater," she grinned.

Diagon Alley was a blur. Reign had gotten an aspen wood with a dragon heartstring core wand. It was 13 inches and the flexibility was "reasonably supple" according to Mr Ollivander and felt really close to her wand, thinking that it might obey and understand her every thought. Hermione Granger, a girl she had met there, had thought so about her wand too. She was a muggleborn, and new to the idea of magic, even though she had unknowingly been doing it for years. 

Hermione met Ron and Harry too, and together, all four of them became like a group. Like the Marauders had once been. Reign and Harry had grown up hearing all sorts about them, and refrained from calling all of them a bit nerdy, doing it later before bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st year:  
> \- The teachers are all the same, except Remus teaches DADA, and Sirius covers for him during the full moon. When it's not the full moon, Sirius helps with Quidditch training/practice for the Gryffindors  
> \- No one was possessed but Voldemort does try and use the stone  
> \- Sirius and Remus are the founders of an LGBTQ+ support group that takes place in their classroom  
> \- No other alteration to the plot
> 
> 2nd year:   
> \- Teaching situation is the same as first year  
> \- No one's memory gets wiped  
> \- No other alteration to the plot
> 
> 3rd year:   
> \- Remus doesn't get fired/doesn't quit at the end of the year because everyone's known from the start that he's a werewolf but they don't really care, as long as he stays in the Whomping Willow   
> \- Bellatrix, Peter, Rudolophus and Rabastan break out of Azkaban   
> \- No other alteration to the plot
> 
> 4th year:  
> \- Harry isn't shit on for being selected as the 4th champion  
> \- Cedric doesn't die  
> (I'm shifting to 4th year so I want to let most of it play out)


End file.
